


Until The End (HIATUS)

by strawberriesthatsmile



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, MENTIONS OF OTHER GROUPS, Masterbation, Really Isn't too Angsty, Slow(ish) Updates, side 2jae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2018-10-15 00:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10547278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberriesthatsmile/pseuds/strawberriesthatsmile
Summary: While he remembered standing there mesmerized by the younger's beauty, Mark realizes that he may have fallen for the biggest jerk on the planet.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is similar to sanctuary, but not too much similar. 
> 
> (This is also my first story written on ao3 so if something isn't right forgive me.)
> 
> (future note!) The first few chapter honestly SUCK so please give it a few chapters! I'm SOO terrible at writing beginnings!

Mark walked through the wide alleyway he takes as a route to get back to the dorm units. It was darker than when he usually walked back, but that's what he gets for missing a presentation for classes and having to get the notes from another student. He walked along the path whistling along the tunes of the passing cars that were audibly playing loud music. It was a normal routine, and was completely safe ashe _thought,_ but walking later than usual meant that he didn't know what he would possibly to run into later on. 

Mark kept his slow pace, taking his time walking back. The dorms weren't too far, but Mark could use the fresh air and space before entering the small evading dorm room he stayed in on the men's wing. He sighed while taking out his phone to check the time, feeling the cold air hit him before he shoved it back into his pocket and pulled his jacket closed to zip it. He picked up his pace seeing it was getting later, and  _colder._ He looked through the narrow alleyways he passed when the small buildings came to an end, stopping when he heard shouts. 

"Please, I just want to get home!" The squeaky voice cried out, before a loud grunt followed his words.

  
_"Please ㅡ I just wanna get home"_ A deep voice mocked. Mark looked down the narrow alleyway to his right. The flashing 'open' sign as the only supporting light that let him see the scene ahead. He closed his eyes taking in a deep breath before continuing. 

_Maybe if I pretend I never saw anything.._

" _Please_ _!_ " The small voice pleaded, "My mother's sick, I just needed to run to the conveㅡ" 

"Shut it!" He heard a new voice echo loudly through the alley which made Mark stop walking and open his eyes. "We just wanted your money, we don't care about your mothㅡ" Mark heard the man talking grunt before hearing small footsteps approach him in a running matter. He backed himself slowly back to the alleyway to watch the scene. The small boy, he guessed was running three guys following him behind. 

"Help!" The boy yelled. Mark stood staring blankly at the scene,  _Me?_ He thinks, his heart pounding in his chest. "Please help me!" He cried starting to slow down before completely collapsing in the middle of running, leaving the three boys a ways behind the collapsed boy. Mark started slowly towards the boy on the ground before starting on a full sprint towards him, afraid of what would happen if the three boys were to catch him or the boy. Stopping directly in front of the unconscious boy, Mark picked him up as quickly as he could, his head propping against his shoulders as his legs stooped forward in Mark's arms. He tried running, but it didn't work well, seeing he wasn't fast enough, a hard kick in his back making him and the small boy fly forward. Mark cradling his arms around the younger boy's head so it didn't hit the ground, they hit the ground with a loud thud, the older's hands getting caught underneath the other's head.

Mark slowly moved away from the younger boy's body, groaning from the pain, before trying to stand up again. A foot meeting his back a second time as he tried standing to his feet. Mark hissed as his palms scraped against the gravel in the alley. Trying to quickly push himself back up, taking any of the kicks that were sent his way. He turned throwing a punch at the nearest man hoping it would actually hit one of then, landing a hard hit on the face knocking him back. Mark heard one of them mumble ' _asshole_ ' from behind him. He turned to the other two men, one of them seemed out of place, backing up from the fight. The other tried a punch but missed but he ended up meeting the ground a few seconds after Mark caught his arm and kicked him.

"Who is this kid?" One of the guys, struggled to stand up. The other stood up before helping the other up, spitting the remaining blood from their mouths. They approached Mark and the small boy, pushing the olde into the brick wall and punching him repeatedly. Mark pushed the _younger_ looking man off of him before swinging towards his face, ultimately missing and getting punched once more.. but in the face. 

In the end, Mark laid against the wall, spitting the blood from his mouth as he tried standing. Mark turned to look at the smaller boy on the ground. He still lay unconscious while the other men stood _trying_ to get to him. 

 "Who did you say was the asshole again?" Mark laughed coldly, spitting the last bit of blood from his mouth. He saw one of the two men two that he's fought charge after him, the other had given up, holding his bruised side, the other a large purpling bruise over his eye. Mark just stood there, partially beaten up as he waited for the other guy. 

He didn't expect much from the other since he was about as beaten as Mark was, more or less. But to Mark's surprise, the last kick that was sent towards him knocked him down. The small bruises from his palms cutting from the gravel once more. 

One last kick being delivered from the other before he was being pulled off of Mark by the last guy that backed away from the fight. The man he was pulling away pushed the other away and went back at Mark, making the older tense, preparing for the kick. 

"It's not worth it, Jaebum!" He heard the other yell before pulling him back again. The other giving up in his arms. He pushed the other away before helping the younger from the wall, before limping down the opposite way of the alley, leaving the last man's lingering eyes on Mark before turning to walk behind them.

Mark felt anger arise in him, he slammed his fist against the gravel, he stood up, running towards the three. He grabbed the last guy from behind, pushing him against the bricks. The other not even flinching as he watched Mark's movements. He just stared at the breathless boy in front of him, waiting for something to happen. Mark waited, not knowing what for, he just stared at the other as if taking in his features. The other boy turned his head towards his friends who were out of sight from the two. 

Mark held the younger against the wall, his anger slowly leaving him as he further studied the other. He felt two hands grab him and pull him back. 

"It's not worth it, don't do it." He heard a small voice from behind him as he was being pulled from the other. The older listened and let go of the latter before taking the smaller boys hand and leading him to his apartment.

 

* * *

 

 

Mark led the younger man back to his apartment in silence. He sighed heavily as he kicked off his shoes before walking to the front room to show the latter to the couch. Feeling final relief as he sat down beside the younger. Putting his head in his hands he sighed, hissing when his palm touched his lip, making him lift his head from his hands and moving to the bathroom.

Turning on the bright light before looking closer into the mirror at his lip, touching it a few times more. He turned one of the knobs, dabbing his lip a few times with water trying to clean it. He looked at the small bruise under his left eye and sighed while poking it a few times. He rinsed the blood and dirt from his hands, the visible scratches and scabbing wounds on his hands making them hurt a little more. Mark dried his hands before opening the door slowly, leaving the room. and hearing shuffling from the front door.

Mark started out of the bathroom heading to the door before stopping. The younger's hands let go of the door before he pushed it closed again, as if deciding whether to go or not. He turned around facing the floor before looking up startled at Mark's presence.

"I- I, Thank you," the latter stuttered. Mark stood wondering what he was trying to say. "But I must go." He stated loudly, as if he suddenly gained confidence. He stuttered with his movements slowly bending down to bow.

"At least stay for dinner, I'm makㅡ" Mark started but was cut off by the younger.  _Kimchi._ Mark finished with his thoughts. 

"I have to go. What I said earlier was true, my mother is very sick. I was only going to the convenience store for medicine." He told looking at the floor again. "Thank you again, I'm afraid I don't have anything to repay you with." The younger bowed again. He turned around again putting his hand on the doorknob before slowly turning the knob, as if waiting for him to be stopped. 

"What's your name?" Mark asked. The younger froze. 

"Yo- Youngjae." The younger stuttered, back still facing Mark.

"Well Youngjae," Mark paused as if thinking of what to say, he felt like he couldn't leave the boy alone so late but he also didn't want him to run into those guys again. He let out a long breath before continuing. "You can repay me by staying, I don't want you to leave in this darkness nor run into them again." He spoke with confidence. The younger let out a small shaky breath before letting his hand fall from the metal knob. The younger turned slowly still facing the floor. Mark put on a warm smile before bending down slightly to look at Youngjae's face. The younger followed his actions looking up at him. He couldn't help the small smile that formed on his lips while he saw the older's wide smile. The younger smiled brighter than he had intended, making the older one chuckle at the sight. Youngjae put his hand over his stomach, feeling the familiar feeling of fluttering in his tummy and smiling slightly at it. He looked up, making eye contact and immediately regretting having looked up again. 

"Thank you for everything hyung." He told the older bowing his head, he was stopped when the older chuckled and put his hand on his shoulder. 

"Don't mention it," He smiled warmly at the younger. "My name is Mark, by the way." Youngjae nodded, his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. Youngjae smiled at his feet, he didn't notice Mark's smile towards him. 

 _Mark.._ The younger repeated over and over in his head until it didn't sound right.

"Youngjae-ah," Mark spoke up after a few moments of silence.

The younger raised his head curiously. "You should call your mother." Youngjae's smile faded hearing those words. He panicked for a second remembering the scene from before, the medicine he bought had gone to waste, being crushed by those _assholes_. Youngjae pulled his phone out, frowning further looking at the cracked screen. Pressing the power button, he used every ounce of hope he had left to have the smallest view of the screen. The screen lit up, the small specks of translucent light leaking through the cracks of the broken screen. Youngjae let out a small groan, looking at the older who already had his phone held out for the other. 

"The password is 'coco'," He told the younger before pointing to a room in the long hallway of his apartment. "My room is the last one on the right." He said giving his best smile to the younger, who was already on the verge of tears. Youngjae smiled gratefully bowing his head once more before following the older's directions his room. 

Once he entered the room he leaned against the wooden door, shutting it completely before biting his lip and pressing the small power button on the top of the phone. Youngjae smiled at the photo of the older wearing the brightest smile he's ever seen, accompanied by a small fluffy white dog. Youngjae guessed this was Coco. He bit his lip once more holding the small figure to his chest, resting his head against the door, he let out a small sigh and closed his eyes. 

 _Mark._ The younger repeated his name in his head over and over again until it sounded ridiculous. 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went and made a few changes to the first chapter that could change the way the story progresses!! So please go and read that first.

Mark's smile gradually faded as the younger one closed to door to the room. The majority of his happiness isn't fake, but after the younger's smile left so did his. He heard a heavy sigh coming from his room, before the loud sound of numbers being dialed from his phone. Mark sighed before sitting on the chair next to the dining table in the kitchen. 

"I hate this." Mark spoke, pulling his knees to his chest. He placed his head on his knees before sighing again and closing his eyes. He indeed hated it.. it being basically everything that made him fight or do something worse. He hated people like that, who got what they wanted when they wanted and didn't expect consequences. He hated having to save someone from another who was trying to hurt them, only to get hurt later on himself. 

Mark still questions why he does this, when all he gets in return is heartbreak or karma he doesn't deserve. He wonders what is keeping him from ending it all when nothing, no one, is even showing a hint of want for him being there. So he still wonders, what he's doing, where he plans on going, if he plans on going anywhere. 

He worries when doesn't hear anything from his room after a while so he shakes his thoughts away and stands up to check on the younger. Taking his time, tracing his fingers along the wall before bringing them to his door. Watching his fingers as he curves them into a small ball before knocking, hearing silence made him worry further. Mark slowly opened the door while peaking in, smiling to himself while looking at the sleeping boy on his bed. The younger held the phone to his ear while lying on his side. 

"Youngjae." He said softly, making his way to the younger, lightly shaking him. He earned a groan and a long string of curses making the older giggle. "Youngjae-ah." He said again, but the younger wouldn't wake. Mark gave up, pulling the covers from under the younger and pulling them over him before moving his phone to the stand next to the small bed. He did have two beds, his original roommate moved back to China, leaving Mark alone in the dorm. He missed Jackson more than he thought he would, mostly because his cheerful mood always made Mark feel less lonely and more cared for, but since the younger moved back to Hong Kong to help his mother out at home, he's felt lonely.

Mark turned the bedside lamp off, letting a quiet 'good night' leave his mouth. The older moved slowly towards the door, turning back to look at the peaceful younger before closing the door, twisting the knob so that the click wasn't too loud.. Not that the younger would even wake from such a small noise.. but it's the thought that counts right? 

Mark hadn't even started dinner, but he wasn't too hungry. He decided to try something since he hadn't eaten all day, opening the fridge to emptiness, he sighed, closing the refrigerator door. Maybe the cafeteria.. He thought, looking at the time on the stove, it was only 10:32, since it closes at 11pm it should be quiet, but still open. At least he could get something decent to eat.

He made his way to the living area, a small desk lying in the corner. Shuffling around all the papers until he came across a notebook, scribbling down a small note to Youngjae that he was leaving before placing it on the table, making his way to the door.

Mark made his way down the dimly lit hallway, barely anything visible besides the floor and psrts of the walls from the (almost) dead light. Passing the dorm rooms close to his, hearing noises from movies or laughter to some things not..  

Mostly paying attention to the floor, Mark made him way to the elevator, hoping the cafeteria was still open. He barely seemed to notice when he bumped into someone, pushing them to the floor.

"I'm sorry." Mark told the other quickly, holding out his hand to help the other up. "I was spacing ouㅡ" 

"Asshole." The other muttered, pushing Mark's hand away before helping himself up and walking away. 

Mark ignored it, walking on before knocking into someone once more, but this one more aggressive. 

"Yah! You jackass, watch where your going!" The other shouted, taking Mark by surprise as he slammed the older against the wall. Mark just stared at the other, studying him. He smelt of alcohol and cigarettes. Mark's face scrunching every time the younger breathed towards him. 

Mark met the others eyes, the familiar sadness in his orbs made Mark study the younger again. Realizing where he'd seen the other. Mark raised his arms from his sides, his hands grabbing the other's lowering his hands from his neck. 

"Aish, let go!" Mark yelled, trying to pull the others hands from his collar bones, the lowest he could get them. The younger man pressing his fingers into Mark's clavicle, releasing a loud moan from the older. It surprised the younger, who's fingers hesitantly presses further into tje bone, the older whining in pain, trying his hardest to pull the others fingers from his collar. Mark scratched the other's hands, grabbing at whatever he was wearing, he managed to wrap his fingers around a (bracelet? ), pulling it off and onto the floor. 

Mark kicked one of his legs towards the man, only for the other's knee to be easily placed between the older's legs.  

Mark gave up, dropping his arms, and stopping his legs. The older looking up to finally realize how close the other was. The knee between his legs bringing friction to his lower area. The other seems to notice only because he pressed his knee further up, grabbing Mark once more and slamming him against the wall once more. 

"Do you wanna die?!" He yelled, making Mark cringe once more from his breath. Mark was spent, he was done. He just wanted to go back to bed and cry. His day was hard enough, helping a boy and getting into a fight, only to have this happen. 

The younger pressed harder into the older's clavicle, earning no reaction from Mark he stopped. Moving his hand up further to wrap around the older's fragile neck.  

"I'm talking to you." The younger said sternly, making Mark look into the latter's eyes. His stare wasn't cold, but it wasn't fearful or full of regret from leaving his dorm, it was as if nothing were happening, as if a boy wasn't really about to choke him, as if he didn't really care. 

"Do it." Mark spoke, his voice cracking at the end of the sentence. The younger's hands tightened slightly, but he thought about continuing. 

The other looked into Mark's eyes, taking in all the sadness and regret, he's been there, in his position. He's seen the things he had, so what makes him better than him. He saw the older's glassy eyes before letting him go. The older not able to hold himself up, fell to the floor, coughing and holding his collar bone. He kept his eyes on the floor, even when he knew the pair of eyes that burned into the back of his skull from the younger who let him go. 

Mark heard loud footsteps, moving fast through the hallway. The younger's steps echoing throughout the marble flooring. 

Mark continued staring at the ground, thinking about how much he missed Jackson, snd what he would've done of he were still here. Feeling tears fall down his cheeks, he looked around him, his vision slightly blurred through the tears. Mark wiped the tears from his eyes before grabbing the small wrist watch, turning it over to reveal some sort of identification.  

The small name engraved on the back of the expensive watch: _Park Jinyoung._

Mark wiped his eyes once more after feeling the tears gather again. He finally gathered up enough strength to push himself up and walk to his dorm. Hoping, no _praying_ that he won't run into anyone else.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooo sorry I haven't updated. I've been swamped with school work since I've been sick for a while. But I've written a few chapters for later on in the stpry. Here's a short one for now.. (Sorry again!!) 
> 
> Please enjoy, (and ignore small spelling or grammar mistakes I'm writing from my phone.)

Mark's next few nights went by quickly, as if the universe wanted him to face that asshole again. Of course he  _did_ want to get it over with, to give Jinyoung the watch back and never see the boy again. Worst case scenario he gets pressed against the wall and choked to death, I mean getting choked to death wouldn't be so bad. But Mark doesn't think he can take being pressed into a wall once more. Even if it is switched, he didn't like walls.. or being _pressed_ against one. 

So when it finally  _did_ reach monday. He felt more nervous than ever before. He didn't even  _understand_ why. Maybe he was nervous of what would happen.. Or maybe he was nervous of seeing the other again. 

He remembered seeing Jinyoung in the hallways a few times and in his last period class, which was litterature. But he never paid much mind to it.  Never talked nor exchanged looks. 

"Hyung?" He heard the familiar voice from behind him. He jumped a hand found his shoulder and boy whipped around into his view. "Oh, I'm sorry." Youngjae giggled, giving off one of his sunshine smiles, which made Mark's nerves calm. He was on edge, and he didn't even understand why. 

Mark smiled in return. "Yah! You scared me!" Mark play whined. Youngjae rubbed his eyes, letting out a small cry to mock the older. They both laughed after that. 

"Where are you going, Mark-hyung?" He asked as they walked down the mildly crowded hallway; the walls lined with light red, almost pink lockers, the tiled floors with colors mixed; bluesㅡlights and darks, with tannish white tiles to even out the colors, the occasional pinkish-red to match the lockers. 

"I'm going Professor Eun's literature class." The younger nodded. 

"It's on my way! I'll walk you there." He smiles and Mark nodded. The walk wad quiet, but it wasn't awkward. They stood close as if this were the last time they would see each other. 

"Where are you going?" Mark asked.

"English. Professor Shai is weird." He spoke, Mark looked over to the younger as he wriggled his body and let out a small 'eugh'. Mark only laughed. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Until Mark broke it, with the  _worst_ possible question ever.

"Youngjae-yah?" Youngjae looked over to Mark while pulling out a water bottle from a side pocket in his bag. Mark watched as the younger took a drink and looking at the older, waiting for him to continue. 

"Are you gay?" He asked casually. Youngjae coughed as he choked on the water. Mark patted the others back until his coughing fit almost calmed down. Mark ignored all the eyes that were looking towards them. He continued rubbing his back as the younger rested his hands on his knees. He looked up to meet Mark's eyes once he calmed down.

"Uh.. Why do you ask, hyung?" His voice raspy. Youngjae seemed to take account to how many people were staring at them.  He stood up, slightly embarrassed. His face was lit with red, but Mark didn't look too long so that the younger wouldn't feel self conscious. 

Mark didn't know how to answer. _'Because I like men too,' 'I like you myself,' 'I guess I'm just curious.'_ Mark hated all of those.

"I guess.. I'm just asking because... you never mentioned a girlfriend the other night when we talked so.." Mark stopped, mentally face palming with what he went with.

"Well..." The other started but was hesitant to continue. "I never really thought about it." Is what to boy went with. So it wasn't _yes_.. but it wasn't _no_ either. After that, the silence  _was_ awkward, and Mark really regretted his question. Mark started to apologize but Youngjae interrupted him.

"I'm sㅡ"  _sorry Youngjae-ah._ Mark finished off in his head. 

"This is your class right?" He said stopping and whipping around to face Mark. He smiled one of his priceless smiles towards Mark as he pointed. Mark only nodded. 

"Thank you Youngjae-ah." Mark said softly, pretending he'd never asked the younger the question. Youngjae only smiled brighter and nodded. 

"Bye Markie~" Youngjae sing songed. Mark cringed at the name. 

"Please don't call me that." He said. Youngjae only giggled before stepping up to hug the other. 

"Thank you Mark." He said and turned to skip off to class. He left Mark there smiling at hid back as he left. He stayed until the younger turned the corner. Youngjae seemed to help his nerves, but once he stepped into the classroom.. all of it came crashing back to him. 

He eyed around the room, everyone in their usual spot. The rows went to the far end of the room, each one layering above the other as if they were stairs. In each row, a dozen or more desks attached to a chair sit. All face the front in which a petite chalk board scribbled with old assignments and doodles from students who get bored before class started. The chestnut desk with small drawers and a comfy computer chair lay directly in front of the right wing (out of three sections; left, middle, right) of desks. 

Mark's eyes landed on the familiar face who sat maybe 7 rows above the teacher's desk. He sat at rhe end of the row, which was closer to where he sat, 6th row, middle section, more leaning towards right. This scared Mark the most. 

Jinyoung could at any point sneak behind Mark and choke him to death, or throw something. Althought he'd probably get in trouble. But either way, Mark still didn't like it. 

Mark decided to wait until the class was over to give Jinyoung the watch back. If anything were to happen he didn't have to skip a lesson, and had an escape plan to go straight to the dorms. Or even meet Youngjae. 

 

* * *

 

 

The time slowly eating away at him, the more he waited the more anxious he felt. It was dumb really... how anxious he felt even though he basically  _hated_ this guy. Though he didn't hate him as much as he'd like to..

Maybe he was too drunk to remember, so he'll just play it out like he'd _lost_ the watch..  _or_ he'll try to kill Mark. 

Mark just  _really_ didn't want to be choked by th younger any more. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"If you missed any notes, they'll be online as well. Please don't forget to study, our next project is just around the corner!" The professor said before bowing to the class and dismissing it. Mark looked back at the boy he had to face. He was standing up, slowly packing everything away. Smiling and bowing his head to people who said their goodbyes to him. 

When most of the room had cleared, he stood up himself, quickly packing everything away and swinging his bag over his shoulder. He held the small device, fidgeting with it before looking up once more. Jinyoung stood all packed, looking down at the small phone in his hands, when he started smiling at it, Mark decided that this was his chance.

Mark didn't say anything or even look up. He walked up to the desk Jinyoung stood closest to, and slowly put the watch down. But when he did look up, the younger was looking down at him. He _was_ taller than him, but Mark knew that look all too well. It was  _disgust._

 Their eyes locked for a moment, but only a moment. Mark didn't want to look at him any longer. "Who are you?" Jinyoung spoke, his words were plain, but he meant them to be cold. Mark ignored his question, pretending he never asked it. He turned around to walk out before the younger grabbed his wrist and pulled him to turn. 

"I asked you a question." The younger spoke boldly. They were the only remaining people in the classroom, but he felt like _a million people_  were watching him. Mark kept his eyes on the floor. He gritted his teeth before opening his mouth to speak, but closed it again. Jinyoung's grip on his wrist became harder. 

"Mark?" He heard the familiar voice at the bottom of the classroom. 

 _"Mark?"_ Jinyoung copied the younger, "Is  _that_ your name?" Jinyoung asked. His grip became harder, but he heard small footsteps enter the classroom. 

"Don't touch me." Mark said coldly, pulling his hand from Jinyoung's grip. "I gave you your damn watch back. So don't touch me." He spoke, his voice lowered when he heard Youngjae's small gasp from below. Mark looked up to meet Jinyoung's eyes once more, they were no longer filled with disgust. It was more of..  _pity?_

Mark turned away from the younger, he heard the clatter of the watch being picked up from the table along with the boy clicking his tongue. 

Mark kept his eyes on the floor, slowly making his way down the levels of the room down to Youngjae. When he was finally close enough to Youngjae, the younger spoke. 

"How do you know Jinyoung?" He asked looking at Mark worried. Mark noted that the younger cared, but also that he _knew_ Jinyoung was bad news. Mark shrugged and didn't answer the question, the younger didn't seem to want to press further in on the subject so he slowly nodded and walked besides Mark. It was an awkward few minutes as they made their ways down the hallway. 

"How's your mom?" Mark asked, making Youngjae smile. 

"She's doing a lot better. She was really sick that one night and really worried when I didn't come home that night. She said she almost got out of bed herself to look for me if I hadn't have called." They both giggled as they walked out of the building. They had small conversations as Mark walked the younger to his home. He decided to later take the bus home instead of walking as it was a far distance.  

 _Today wasn't too bad..._ He thought while leaning his head against the window of the bus. It had started raining in the city. The bus ride was smooth, Mark had fallen asleep until he was awoken by the bus stopping and a few people getting off. He'd pressed the small button himself after about 10 more minutes of the bus driving deeper into the city. Mark sighed while he stepped off the bus. 

It was still raining a bit, but enough had cleared so that he wouldn't have to walk through his dorm soaked. In these types of moments, Mark wished he could snuggle up to Coco. The cold weather behind him as he was wrapped in blankets with the small fluff ball lying on his chest. 

He smiled to himself as he walked back to his apartment. The red small scarf hiding his neck, hanging just off his chin, the sides blowing behind him hitting his black sweater every now and then. He pulled his phone halfway from his pocket, to show enough of the screen to tell the time. It was about 6:30, but the light in the sky was seemingly fading. It became harder to see the things in the side alley's as the light just barely made it through the cracks at the top of the building. 

Mark walked through the small alleyway that he took regularly as a shortcut; the same one he took the night he met Youngjae. Passing the small side alleys that were small enough for a cat to walk through. He remembered the wider side alley from when he helped Youngjae, when he stopped to peer down the narrow stripthe alley was almost completely empty, besides the little mice and rats that scattered among the garbage pouring from the dumpsters, with many metal trash cans lining against the walls in uneven patterns. There stood a man. Mark only saw his side silhouette. The knees of his jeans ripped, as if they were worn out. He wore a hoodless jacket, his hands buried in the pockets. The scarf he wore, similar to Mark, was worn up to his nose as if to hide his face from the world. The visible hair lay against his forehead, the rest hidden by a hood.

Mark found it very _suspicious_ , that he was just standing there, staring at the spot in which Youngjae was. Mark studied the other, he made absolutely no movements. He felt like approaching the other, but decided against it. Just in case it was one of the other guys he had run into the other night with his younger friend. Mark jumped when the man in the alley screamed and kicked one of the closest metal cans to him. He fell to the ground, breathing heavily. He punched the ground a few times while yelling once more. The yelling faded into heavy breaths which eventually turned into sobs as he sat on the ground. Sniffles echoed through the alley, loud cries and more pounding at the ground.

Mark didn't know what to do, so he just turned and walked away.

Though he regretted it. That's what he did.  

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to change the name from In the End to Until the End bc it sounds like something bad will happen from the ending. I also wrote an ENTIRE smut chapter w/ markjin but it's too far ahead to post so I will update again soon with another chapter so it doesn't seem so boring.
> 
> (I also didn't edit this so don't mind the mistakes please!!)

 

Mark wondered who was in the alley that night. He seemed young with his body type, his energy too. Not anyone can kick a can full of trash across an alley.. who is he kidding, a  _child_ could do so.. but he just didn't want to run into whoever that was. Whoever it was, would have some massive scratches and bruises on his hands. The way he punches the ground, his toe probably was hurt too. Mark brushed the thought off as he walked through the path he took to get to school. 

He hasn't seen Youngjae so he figured the younger was still sleeping. It was pretty early in the morning. He  _did_ have early classes today, so he would've expected the younger to be sleeping. It was about 8 in the morning. Not too early, but not late enough for the people with evening classes to get up for. Mark was just so used to the presence of the other boy, maybe he was expecting too much. He told himself he wouldn't pretend around the younger. He'd show his genuine personality. Everything seemed..  _okay_  when he was around Youngjae.Mark thought his best characteristic was his bright smile at first, but he was  _far_ off. Mark gradually realized that it was the younger's care. His care for the people he cares about, and the care he gives to people he barely knows. But with care comes trust, and Youngjae  _hands_ it out like it's nothing.

Mark brushed the negative thoughts away as he smiled to himself, facing the floor to hide his smile. Even when _no one_ could see him. He chuckled remembering taking the younger out to ice cream before they went their separate ways and went home. The younger always got it on his nose but didn't realize it. But when Mark raised his finger and brushed it on his own nose, the younger would go cross eyed and try to look at the ice cream. It made Mark giggle like a little freakin' school girl _everytime_. 

Mark walked into his Literature class, the prof was supposed to explain the big project today, so he decided to get the notes for his other classes online while he has all day to laze around and think about the project. Though, he didn't understand why his  _whole_ class section had to go to class so early, he didn't question it. The only thing he  _did_ question is why he didn't wake Youngjae up. Mark felt anxious from the start, but he's usually good at keeping these things to himself. But lately he hasn't been able to do so as well as before. He felt anxious  _all_ the time. When he did he'd call Youngjae, who'd rarely answer due to his studies and taking care of his mother. 

So without Youngjae meant his anxiety levels went through the roof. Even if he  _was_ outside. He didn't understand what was making him so anxious and annoyed lately. It's like the whole world is turning the other direction and it's driving Mark  _crazy._

Mark made his way up the few cases of cement stairs that led into the huge building. His heart beating two times faster than before, he felt his breath go uneven.  _What the hell is wrong with me?_ Mark swallowed even though his throat went dry before he made it up the stairs, and now he stood staring at the huge sign above the glass doors that read:  **University Of Seoul** _._

He tried gathering himself, closing his eyes he tried breathing deeply, inㅡ out _,_ inㅡ _out._

"Mark, Mark, Mark!" He heard his name repeated. The voice seemed familiar, but he still couldn't make out who it was. "Is that you  _pabo-yah_?" He heard the small nickname and the voice immediately clicking. He could hear his feet padding up the cement stairs with hard stomps as if  _he_ were running. Behind him the small pattering of feet of someone following him. He felt his heartbeat become faster, his breathing became _completely_ uneven as he heard the younger approach. He opened his eyes for a second, a hand finding its way to Mark's shoulder. The older closing his eyes once more, scared.  _Jinyoung.._

The older was surprised by the outcome of the younger's touch. Mark's breathing evened out, his heartbeat was fast, but only normal when you were nervous, not freaking  _heart attack_ fast. 

Mark let out a shaky breath, Jinyoung noticing the elder's reaction. He squeezed his shoulder a few times, not too hardㅡbut not entirely softly either. "You alright there Markie?" Mark opened his eyes slowly, he nodded. The silence sticking between them for a few seconds. He heard the padding of feet come closer to them. He shook the younger's hand off his shoulder. 

"Don't call me that." Mark said, the words leaving his mouth  _too_  softly to sound remotely demanding. The younger's hand lingered as the older had walked away. He scoffed an turned around to his best friend. 

" _Markie?_ " The other mocked.

"Shut up Jaebum." He said hitting his friends shoulder.

"Wasn't  _I_ the gay one?" He laughed. Jinyoung shot him a glare to tell him to stop, but the other continued laughing like it was nothing. He ignored the other and walked to class. Jaebum shuffling behind him to catch up. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Thank you all for attending the class. As it was set _earlier_ than normal. That is for a good reason." She started off the class after everyone was seated. "While it is unusual for this class to start early, I have decided to do something different this year." The teacher paused expecting maybe protests or groans but the room stayed silent. She took it as her cue to continue. 

"This year, I am splitting you all in groups, with those groups you will hold a very specific topic that youㅡ and your group will explore further into. All these topics given have not been studied yet so I cannot help you unless it is something simple like a book. Which you all by now should know how to read," She paused wile turning to looks around at some of the students, her eyes landing on a small group of boys with girls crammed into their laps. 

"Maybe.. not all of us." A sly smirk formed on her face, a few other students laughed while the group turned bright red. The ones from the group who didn't care snickering along with the crowd. Mark just listened. He'd been too spaced out to laugh or even look remotely in that area. 

Mark turned to look over his shoulder. He spotted Jinyoung spaced out staring at his desk. The boy who was close to him earlier that morning, talking to him but Jinyoung had seemingly lost interest in their conversation. He kept his eyes on the younger, wondering what he was thinking about. He remembered the way the younger had touched him that morning. It was  _literally_ just a touch on his shoulder. But the warmth of the touch spread through his body, making his tensed body calm. Mark thought it was weird, thinking about someone he hated so much like this, but he  _was_ drunk that night. _We all do weird things when we're drunk right?_ Mark thought. He shook the thought off. He studied the younger, his features settling in. He looked nicer than he  _actually_ was. He watched as Jinyoung inhaled a breath before releasing it into a depressed sigh. His chest pushing up against the thin fabric of the school uniform. Mark could see the outline of his muscles through the sleeves of the navy blue buttoned jacket that he wore. Mark swallowed the forming lump in his throat. He didn't understand his feelings right now.. it's sat between lust and hate. A splurge of the protective feeling he was ever so used to. His features fit him well; pink plump lips with smooth white skin that went perfectly with his high cheekbones as Mark thought. His jawline could like  _cut_ , Mark imagined how amazing it would feel kissing it. Leaving Mark's on him that _claimed_ him as Mark's. His eyes were dark but they were beautiful. Mark loves his eyes the most, the fact that they could hold so much emotion and at the same time be so beautiful. 

 When the younger turned his eyes towards Mark, he didn't look away. He kept his eyes on the younger. He didn't know  _why_ he just did. He tried his best to look away but it was almost impossible. The younger's face held the same blank expression from the night in the alleyway. He shivered when he noticed the younger swallow, his lip being captured between his teeth. His eyes moving away from Mark and to the professer after they'd held eye contact for a one too many seconds. Mark turned to face straight, sinking in his seat as he swallowed the forming lump in his throat.

 _Why am I feeling so anxious..?_ Mark reached his fingers to his ears, playing with the lobes. A habit he's had since he was a kid when he felt anxious or nervous. 

"I will be announcing your grouos and your topics." The professor told. A visible smile on her face, she seemed to be _enjoying_  this. Some students groaned. But she ''tsk'ed them before continuing. She turned her back towards all the students and walked to her desk. She shuffled through some papers before grabbing a packet. Flipping through a few pages before walling back to the front of the class. 

"The first group," She started loudly, everyone falling silent. Mark had a nervous feeling in his stomach, but he ignored it. "Im Jaebum, Park Ji-min, Park Chanyeol, and Son Chaeyoung, your topic will be 18th century literature." She continued naming groups and their topics, already reaching group 17 which didn't suprise Mark with the amount of students in this class. When she reached group 22 she called his name.

"Mark Tuan, Myoui Mina, Jang Yeeun, Park Jinyoung. Your topic will be dance." Mark's heart about jumped out of his chest when hearing Jinyoung's name. He swallowed and looked over his shoulder at the younger to see him already staring back. Mark quickly turned back towards the professor as she finished naming two more groups off. 

_This will be a long project.._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This chapter was boring but it will start getting intresting next chapter. Please leave kudos and comment! <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY LISTEN I HAVE THREE DAYS OF EXAMS COMING UP AND MORE UPDATES BC FUCK YEAH SUMMER SO HERES CHAPTER 5 AND SOME OF MY EXAM STUDY TIME BC FUCK I'M NEVER GONNA STUDY.
> 
> SORRY FOR THE MANY MISTAKES 
> 
> I'M A SHITTY UPDATER TOO MY BAD.  
> summer in 3 days  
> pls enjoy while i go cry bc i wasted all my time instead of studying <3

Well at least he got something that he enjoyedㅡ no  _loved._ Mark thought about growing up. He lived in America for most of his life, and Americans were  _obsessed_ with music. It played on every street corner, different genres. Played by different types of people. One day he just started dancing, he was really young. About 9 or 10 years old by then, so he looked like a total idiot just flailing his spaghetti arms while his friends watched, laughing with a spark of amazement in their eyes. He laughed remembering his friend Andrew jumping in, flailing his arms with Mark. 

"Is something funny?" Jinyoung's words were said like they was supposed to be intimidating, but they weren't to Mark. He'd wondered how'd he'd even ended up sitting next to the younger in the first place, Mina and Yeeun sitting the opposite of them. Mark and Jinyoung sitting next to eachother between the two girls. Mark shook his head, feeling embarrassed for the sudden outburst. 

 "Nothing." He said sheepishly. His smile gradually fading. 

_"You look good when you smile, you should do it more often."_

Mark froze and turned to the younger. He was confused. Did he really just say that? 

"W-what?" Mark asked, swallowing as he waited for an answer. 

"I didn't say anything." He gives Mark a weird look. Mark lools away, slightly out of it. He clears his throat, making Mina jump next to him. He sends her an apologetic look and she nods and smiles back understanding the gesture. 

" _Well,_ about our topic." Yeeun started as she smiled. She eyed Jinyoung, her eyes sliding to Mark. She looked to Mina who looked a little scared of what her friend was to say. 

"I think we should do something that speaks to people." Her lips curled into a bigger smile as she continued. 

"Like a message?" Jinyoung asked. She nodded and bit her lip while looking at Mina. 

"Like a message." She repeated. 

"And?" Jinyoung asked impatiently. 

"Well I think we should do something that people recognize but don't understand." Yeeun continued. Jinyoung seemed annoyed at her just speaking. 

"Stop speaking in riddles Yeeun." He scoffed. Mark thought of different possibilities that she was getting to. He looked to Mina who had her eyes narrowed at Yeeun's words. He remembered the way she looked at all three of them, but smiled specifically at Mina. 

"Like sexuality?" Mark blurted out. She squeeled, gaining a few stares from other students. Mark felt his face flush when Jinyoung started looking at him. He made sure to avoid his eyes. 

" _Exactly!_ " She said excitedly. She gave Mina a  _Youngjae_ sunshine smile. Mark smiled, biting his lip and clearing his throat as he looked to the floor trying to hide his smile. 

 "As in  _Taemin's_ sexuality?" Mina asked excitedly. Yeeun nodded so much Mark thought her head would fall off. Mark chuckled at it lifting his head to watch the girls fangirl. He watched them as he laughed. He turned his head to Jinyoung, he was already looling at Mark. His eyes holding something Mark couldn't make out. Mark bit his lip as his smile slowly faded. 

"What would this dance include." Jinyoung asked, raising an eyebrow at the girls. They exchanged looks and smiled. Mark's smile returned as the girls nodded at eachother. They turned to Jinyoung with an excited expression making him instinctively back up. 

"Sexy dancing!" They basically screamed while standing up and doing the same dance move. It looked like they planned this. Mark laughed loudly. He looked over to Jinyoung who had a small smile on his face. Mark felt a fluttery feeling in his stomach. He swallowed before Jinyoung met his gaze. They sat there, seemingly lost in the other's  eyes. 

Jinyoung's eyes were dark,  but they hid so much emotion. The evident anger and hatred towards people softened into hidden fear and care. Mark loved that about people. No matter how they mask what they felt, they could never hide the way their eyes lit up when their lover was mentioned, or a little girl gets ice cream from her parents. The way they sadden when someone you love was hurt or has passed. 

Mark was good at reading people's moods. But sometimes it scared people when you make simultaneous eye contact and keep it like your  _digging_ into their soul. 

 _Nunchi_  as some called it.

Mark broke the eye contact when he heard the teachers voice bebind them. 

"Sexy dance?" She chuckled. Her hands were clasped together in fronr of her as she walked around the room observing the other project ideas. 

The two girls, Yeeun and Mina, nodded like Yeeun had before. They smiled. "I'll allow it." She smiled and started to walk away. She stoppes mid-step and turnes on her heels. "But  _please,_ pleasekeep your clothes on." 

Yeeun let put a loud laugh. "You act like it's happened before." She looked at the teacher as she joined in the laughing. 

" _Oh_ you'd be suprised." With that she spun on her heels, sayimg a small 'good luck' before continuing on her trip to other groups. 

Mark laughed along with the other three in his group. He laughed harder when the girls laughs went from the cute ones to their comfortable 'I'm around my best friends' kind of laugh. Mark thought it was cute. He'd leaned on Jinyoung without thinking as the two laughed together. Mark's head on the others shoulder. 

When the girl's laughing started to fade, Mark's stomach ached from the laughing fit they'd had. He relaized he was basically _on_ Jinyoung. His eyes travelled from Jinyoungs stomach (which was making contant up and down mkvement due to his laughter) to his neck before he swallowed the lump in his throat. He looked up towards Jinyoung's laughing face. His eyes were crescents and his hands covering his mouth as he laughed. It made Mark's stomach flutter. He smiled which made Jinyoung look down. 

_Oh shit._

Mark internally panicked when he realized how close Jinyoung's face was to his. He swallowed. He wanted to move so badly, but something in him told him to stop.  **(insert darkside kermit meme)** Jinyoung seemed frozen too. Their eyes locked. Mark couldn't read them. They were filled with something he didn't recognize. Jinyoung's eyes left him for a moment. He seemed to look up at something or  _someone._ His eyes narrowed as if trying to understand what was being told to him. Mark just kept looking up at him. Taking in his beautiful features. 

That was all until Jinyoung looked back down in disgust. He suddenly pushed Mark off him. Mark felt freaked out. He panicked again. His face flushing red as he felt embarassed. 

"S-sorry." He stuttered to Jinyoung. He avoided the others look. But he heard the scoff the other let out after his apology. 

 

"Well.." Yeeun said after a few minutes of silence within the group. Mark looked uo from the spot in the ground he was staring a hole into. "There should be two parts to the dance." She cleared her throat while grabbing her phone from the black bag she had with her.

"Since the song is about sexuality. It balances out. Two girls, two _guys_." She looled up from her phone and made her way looking around at everyone in the group. Mark thought it was really impressive, she seemed like a leader. She spoke out the most and she seemed fearless. "I think we should split our parts. There should be a part where we have our  _OG_ dance partners andㅡ"

"OG?" Mark asked, interrupting. He shot her an apologetic look. And she nodded and smiled understanding. _I'm glad that these girls are nice._

"Opposite Gender." She said, he nodded and returned her smile. "As I was saying"  _cue the annoyed glare,_ Mark thought, but there was none, which made him a little releived. "After a certain part of the song hits, we should switch to our  _same gender_ dancing partners. Which for Mark would be Jinyoung, and me would be Mina." She smiled at Mina who was already smiling back excitedly. 

Yeeun looked at her phone once more. Her fingers typing away at an  _amazingly_ speedy rate before she smiled and handed the phone to Mina. She pointed to the small _recipient_  bar at the top. 

"Put your numbers in here. We can text about the project and text times to meet for practices." She said. Mina typed in her number and handed it off to Mark. He quickly typed in his number. He handed it off to Jinyoung, who's hand touched his in the process. The touch sent shivers down Mark's body. He let out a small breath. 

When Jinyoung handed the phone back to Yeeun she squeeled once more. 

"I'm so excited guys!" She said before looking at the silver watch wrapled tightly around her right wrist and frowning. "The class is ending soon." She looked up at everyone. 

 _Finally._ Mark thought. He sat back in his chair. He side glanced at Jinyoung who was spaced out, scaring at his chair between his legs. Mark studied him. He'd been  _completely_ quiet since the  **(aLmoSt FuCking kiSs scene sorry)** _incident._ It was really no big deal in his eyes. 

A loud ringing filled his ears as the room started clearing quickly. Releif filled him as he stood up. He swung his backpack over his shoulder. 

 

He felt  _real_ relief wash over him when he remembered had no other classes today. 

He made his way home in peace.

_Well almost._

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOO here again with another update. I have exams for the next two days and very little free time but I love writing so fuck it. 
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter!!

Jinyoung felt the warmth of the other boy on him. He couldn't stop laughing himself, but the other seemed helpless in the action. Falling over onto Jinyoung. He thought it was cute at first. Until the boy's head rested onto his shoulder. He felt the gaze of the other male travel around his body. He felt the other's heartbeat speed up. His warm breath on his neck. It was all too much for him. He felt an unfamiliar feeling in his chest. It was too foreign for him to understand what it was. He'd made the mistake of looking down at the boy. Conveniently he was already looking up at him. Jinyoung swallowed his pride, his eyes travelling down Mark's face. He was honestly  _beautiful_. But Jinyoung thought it was wrong to feel that way. He hated it so much. But his body betrayed him, taking in all his sharp features. His brown eyes that literally _sparkled_ in just the right lighting. His sharp nose, the way his cheekbones were tinted with pink from laughing so hard. His lips, which he wanted to  _kiss._

 _No. No that's gross._ Jinyoung looked up, sucking in a small breath. He looked around the room, most of the groups were doing their work. But his eyes landed on Jaebum's group. Jaebum was already looking at him, a smirk playing at his lips. He held a fist up, his tongue denting his left cheek as he moved it. It made him look like he was sucking a dick. Jinyoung's eyebrows furrowed as he realized what the other was doing. He quickly pushed Mark off him roughly. 

He heard Jaebum bark out a loud laugh earning a few looks from other classmates. He just covered his mouth and continued his over exaggerated laugh. Jinyoung felt embarrassed. Not only that, but he  _liked_ it. Jinyoung looked at the back of Mark's head. Swallowing the lump that had caught his throat. He looked away before turning his head to watch the girls next move. They seemed to be sitting staring at eachother as if they'd just witnessed a murder. Jinyoung let out a silent chuckle. Mina looked back towards the two boys. Mark looking at the ground, eyeing him from the side which he chose to ignore. 

Mina nodded towards them, using her eyes to tell Yeeun to get a new topic running. Jinyoung watched as Ye Eun's eyes went wide and she nodded towards the boys. She seemed to say  _'you talk to them. this is too weird'._ Mina just gave her a look and Yeeun seemed to melt under it. She turned her head towards the boys, clearing her throat.

"Well..."

 

* * *

 

 

"Pabo-yah!" Jinyoung yelled at Jaebum as he approached the other from behind. They walked together to the cafe down the road from the club they usually snuck into. Jaebum knew the route well, but Jinyoung didn't pay attention much as he kept his eyes on his phone the whole time. 

Jaebum snickered at the other's remark. "I mean, you might as well have tattooed 'I'm gonna make-out with this man I barely know _and_  hate because I'm  _not_ gay at all.'" Jaebum barked out a loud laugh. Jinyoung smacked his arm hard enough to leave a welt. The smack probably heard from down the block. Jinyoung 'tsked' him before turning and walking ahead. He lowered his head as he unlocked his phone to scroll through his tumblr. Jaebum scoffed as he walked a few feet in front of him, making sure he didn't run into anything. When he heard a crash followed by a small cracking noise, he felt like laughing. 

He turned to see Jinyoung bent over the ground, his eyes wide. 

"No, no, no, no, no!" He yelled over and over again. He picked the small cracked device off the ground. He turned the screen on letting out a breath of relief when he saw only a small black line on the top right corner. He let out a breathy laugh and stood up. He flipped the phone all around checking if it was okay. Jaebum only shook his head waiting for him to be finished.

"It's fine." He held a hand over his chest, letting out a huff of breath. He looked up to Jaebum who looked bored. "Let's goㅡ"

Someone ran into Jinyoung, resulting in his phone flying out of his hand once more. Jinyoung didn't chase after his phone. He froze for a moment, staring at it with disappointment. He looked up, his jaw clenching visibly before turning to whoever bumped him. He held his fist up ready to hit the person. His fist lowering when he noticed the other flinching, more of  _preparing_ for the hit. He wore a black cap which covered his face. The outfit seemed familiar though. He instead grabbed the other's collar and pushing him against the wall. The face of the boy being revealed as none other than Mark Tuan. 

"You must really wanna get hit." Jinyoung let out a breathy laugh. He let go of the other's shirt. 

"Sorry." He answered shortly. His eyes showing no gratitude. His dark orbs stared right into Jinyoung's before studying the many passing people in the sidewalk. He scoffed as everyone ignored the scene in front of him. He looked back to Jinyoung before putting his hands to the younger's chest. He lightly pushed the other away before starting to walk away. 

Jinyoung wasn't having it. He laughed before grabbing Mark's shoulder and slamming him back into the wall. His face closer than it was before. Jinyoung held his hand out in Jaebum's direction. 

"Hand me my phone, Jaebum." Jinyoung told the other, more like it was an order.

"Do I look like your fucking slave?" Jaebum countered. Jinyoung turned his head and narrowed his eyes.

"Please?" He asked, more annoyed than anything. Jaebum looked at him one more time. Pressing his lips into a straight line before bending down to grab the other's phone. Before handing it off to him. Jinyoung took the phone. One hand holding Mark's shoulder against the brick building. He looked back at Mark, pulling the phone between their chests. He presses the power button. The screen lit up, but the screen was jumbled. He let out a bitter laugh. He turned the screen towards Mark. 

"You broke it." Jinyoung's eyes flickered from the phone to Mark's lips. He panicked.  _His eyes.. NOT LIPS ABORT._ Jinyoung cleared his throat before looking up into Mark's eyes. 

"I told you that I'm sorry." Mark's eyebrow rose. "I can't do anything about it." He spoke. Jinyoung seemed annoyed with the other. He laughed before grabbing Mark and slamming him against the wall once more. 

" _Really_ , Jinyoung." Mark smirked. "Are we going to  _replay_ that night?" Jinyoung's eyes widened as he remembered the night that he had gone home drunk. He didn't remember anything from that night besides the fact that he hurt Mark. It made him feel guilty, but when he beat the shit out of his friends he felt anger towards the older. 

"That _night_? Oooh, Jinyoung. Your girlfriend won't be very happy about this?" He heard Jaebum chuckle from the side lines. 

" _Girlfriend?_ " Mark asked, his eyes meeting Jinyoung's. Jinyoung felt guilty now. He didn't understand why. 

"Yeah girlfriend. You jelous,  _Markie?_ " Jaebum teased. Mark's head whipped to the side. 

" _Don't_ call me that." Mark warned. He pushed Jinyoung off of him roughly. He'd let this go far enough. He looked at Jinyoung angrily. "I'll get you a new phone." He grabbed a small pad from his backpack and wrote his number on it before half-folding-half-crumbling the paper and pressing it to his chest. 

"Just leave meand my friends alone." He said bitterly. He placed his headphones in, ignoring everything around him. He walked to the cross walk not bothering to look if cars were coming. He walked angrily towards the street. He didn't see the white bus driving towards the cross walk. Jinyoung's eyes widened when he realized what was happening. His head flipped towards Jaebum who seemed in panic mode as well. 

"Mark!" Jinyoung yelled. His body wouldn't move and inch. Mark wasn't listening. His headphones is, probably at the highest level just so he wouldn't have to listen if Jaebum or Jinyoung called him again. 

"Mark stop!" Jinyoung called again. But the older kept walking towards the street. The edge of the sidewalk coming to an end. Jinyoung couldn't think before his legs started moving towards Mark. His arms wrapping around him as he stopped him from walking into the bus. He pulled Mark back, further away from the road. His arms lay around the older's waist. His chest pressed against his back. Mark slowly lifted his hand to take one of his head phones out. 

He sat there. Listening to Jinyoung's heavy breathing, feeling the constant bumping of his rising chest against his back. Mark felt like he should've been in shock. But really he wasn't. He just didn't expect Jinyoung to help him. Jinyoung's grip tightened for a moment. He looked over to the younger to see his eyes clenched shut. 

"J-Jinyoung." Mark whispered, only loud enough for the other to hear. Mark's hand lifted to rest on one of Jinyoung's arms which remained wrapped around him. He looked over his shoulder to see the other's eyes slowly fluttering open one at a time. His eyes were glassy, but Mark didn't understand why. The look of horror in Jinyoung's eyes as he looked at Mark. Mark felt a clenching feeling in his chest. It felt similar to pain, but it felt somewhat  _good._ Mark squeezed Jinyoung's arm reassuring him that he was okay. 

Mark rotated himself in Jinyoungs arms. They now stood chest to chest. Mark couldn't move too close. His hat could poke Jinyoung's eye out or something but he put his hands on Jinyoung's chest and gently pushed him away. Jinyoung didn't stray far from Mark. He stood over the older. Mark felt flustered now. The younger had just  _saved_ his life. 

Jinyoung felt the familiar warmth spread through his chest. He saw the  panic  in Mark's eyes before he backed away himself. 

"I'll r-replace your phone." The older stuttered and looked up at Jinyoung's eyes then quickly to Jaebum who seemed to  _still_ be in shock from the whole thing. "Thank you." Mark whispered. His hand rested on Jinyoung's for a moment before pulling away. Turning and actually  _looking_ for cars before crossing

 

Jinyoung turned around, picking up his phone and his abandoned bag. Ignoring Jaebum's teasing. Today had honestly been long enough for Jinyoung. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm;;; Yes I know I'm a shitty updater buttttt I have zero inspiration and I'm being lazy.. 
> 
> I threw this together and AM planning to update tomorrow (today technically) or saturday.
> 
> My updates will start becoming slow so I plan on writing a lot for all my stories because I'm going to a summer college course to learn Korean ((and I'm a sophmore in hs wish me the best please)) 
> 
> The usual please don't mind mistakes, I'm planning on editting the whole thing once I finish it so PLEASE bear with me!!
> 
>  
> 
> 제발~~~

Jinyoung didn't know how he felt. He felt confused that was for sure, but about what?

He had a rather _odd_ dream.. well it was normal to have these 'odd' dreams, but it was about Mark. And it was _hot_.

He recalls the older's wet lips kissing and marking up his neck. Travelling down, trailing wet kisses until he stops to undo his jeans with his teeth. He left Jinyoung a moaning mess the whole time, while the older worked him off.

He woke up sweat layering over his neck and morning wood. It made him confused. Tbh it made him horny all the time. He sprung a boner in almost every situation where he saw Mark in the hallway. He avoided eye contact, but thankfully Mark didn't try to approach him either. Just fucking thinking about him makes him want to run home and take a cold shower. Jinyoung shivered thinking about itㅡthe shower. If Mark were there with him.

"What the _fuck_!" Jinyoung yelled, throwing his head in his hands. Almost the whole class looked back at him. The professor stopping her presentation on the project to look at him specifically. He looked over to Mark, who was already looking at him; a generally concerned look on his face. He tilted his head as if to ask 'are you okay?' but Jinyoung just stared. Yeah, he _stared_.

"Mr. Park, is there a problem?" She turned from her spot in front of the board. Jinyoung cleared his throat as he looked away from Mark.

"N-no, sorry, I s-stubbed my toe andㅡ _sorry_." He felt his face heat up under Mark's gaze. Jinyoung looked up and Mark turned his back toward the professor, like most of the other students.

"Well thanks for sharing. Pass the honors back to me, if you may." She said sarcastically as she turned around to continue her mini-lesson. Jinyoung put his head down in shame. Jaebum put a hand on Jinyoung's back.

"You alright man?" He asked. Jinyoung just nodded not wanting to talk to anyone. Jaebun rubbed circles into his back before looking concerningly towards his friend.

" _Jaebum_ ," Jinyoung looked up to meet Jaebum's eyes. "I think theres something wrong with me." He said in a serious tone. Jaebum studied Jinyoung's eyes, not sure if he was _actually_ serious or just messing with him. Jaebum frowned when he realized it wasn't a joke.

"What do you _mean_?" He asked. Jinyoung took a moment to think.

_What do you mean, what do I mean?! What do I mean? I mean I'm emotionally attached to someone who I 'just happened' to run into, numerous times I might add. Almost fucking killing him once, but then saving his life another. He probably thinks I'm an asshole since I hurt him while interrogating him about my phone and Jaebum making up a fucking 'girlfriend' excuse to scare Mark off. As if he was even intrested._

_Oh, don't forget to mention that,, Every. Fucking. Time,, he sees Mark he springs one and either goes home or gets himself off in the bathroomㅡ WITH the fucking thought about Mark doing it himself._

"It's nothing." Is what Jinyoung went with and turned his head back to the prof, completely ignoring his best friend's concerned look.

"Since we don't have a lot of time left," the Professor turned around after a few minutes of writing our 'goals for today' on the board, and started speaking to the large grouo of students. "I suggest you get your groups numbers so that you can work on this project outside of class. I don't mean one person either, I'm counting on everyone to put a lot of efforts into this. I'm _very_ excited to see what the dance teams put together." She smiles and dismissing them.

Jinyoung risked looking over at the older as he stood up. His forn as he stood up, he didn't have a big butt, but he was slim, and his body, _oh god_ it makes Jinyoung want to scream. Jinyoung came back to his senses as he stood up.

 _Big mistake. Big. Fucking. Mistake._ He let out a small whimper, looking away from Mark and to the floor.

"Jinyoung?" Jaebum asked slinging the bag over his shoulder before going to his best friend. They let all the people in the row pass by before he continued. "Are you sure that you're fine?" Jinyoung nodded and closed his eyes, leaning against the desk in front of him.

_Calm. The. Actual. Fuck. Down. Before. You. Get. A. Hard-on. In. Fucking. Class._

_Fuck._

_Too late._

Jinyoung shook his head frantically telling Jaebum that he needs to leave now. Jaebum took his arm and led his down the stairs to the bottom of the classroom. He tried his best to cover his _huge_ bulge. Whilst carrying his backpack along with him. Jaebum got them excused saying that Jinyoung needed to go to the infirmary because he was sick. Which is where Jaebum started heading. _Well_ , that was until Jinyoung started speed walking to the mens bathroom yelling at Jaebum not to follow him. His best friend smirked at him before yelling through the hall.

"You _totally_ got a hard on in class didn't you?" He had his hands cupped around his mouth so that nearby classroom could probably hear it. Jinyoung flipped him off as he ran into the closest bathroom. He checked all the stalls before shutting and locking the door. He locked himself in the stall farthest from the door before panicking _yet again_.

Why him? Why _him_? Of all people. He freaked out. He went to stand up to splash cold water on his face only to moan once the buckle of his jeans restrained him. He sat back down and closed his eyes before unzipping his pants and pulling them down to his knees. Grabbing his throbbing cock, thumbing the tip before slowly stroking himself. It always got old for himㅡconstantly jacking offㅡ but what else could he do..? ( **JuSt WaiT okAy he DOesN't owN luBe.... yet** )

He moaned, fastening his pace once he felt the warm coiling in his stomach. He came into his hand, Mark's name on his lips as he continued stroking the fluid out. He cleaned up with ( **fUckinG** ) toilet paper and flushed it before (pulling his pants on pls dont forget to put pants on before going into public **EVER** ) leaving the stall and washing his hands. He splashed some cold water on his face. Praying that he wasn't too loud for the passer-byers to hear.

Jinyoung took a deep breath before looking in the mirror. He _appeared_ to be normal or okay. But why didn't he _feel_ normal.

Jinyoung ran a hand through his hair, his heart fucking jumping out of his chest when he heard a patient knock. It was small, quiet, but he heard it. He panicked.

_What do I do?_

_What the fuck do I do?!_

_Do I open the door?!_

  
_WHATIFTHEYHEARDMEMASTERBATINGTOMARKFUCKINGTUANWHATIFTHEYHEARDMEMASTERBATEALLTOGETHERWHATIFMARKWASSTANDINGOUTTHERETHEWHOLETIMEWHATDOIDOWHATDOISAYHOWSHOULDIFEELJESUSPLEASEBEWITHMEINTHISTIMEOFCHAOS ANDDESTRUCTIONOFMYLIFㅡl_

"Jinyoung, come on I gotta pee!" Jaebum's voice echoes through the quiet bathroom. Jinyoung almost falls to the floor with releif. He lets out a breath that he didn't even know he was holding amd walks slowly to unlock the door.

It slowly opened revealing an annoyed Jaebum who pushed passed him to go into the farthest stall from the door.

He stopped once he noticed the slight mess.

"Aish! At least clean up your fucking mess you and your nasty ass. Tsk. " Jaebum scolded.

"Yes, _Daddy_." Jinyoung mocked.

"Ew. Stop. Save that for Mark." He walked into one of the stalls, this time two down from the last one.

"Ew, s _ave that for Mark._ " Jinyoung mocked the elder. Jaebum let out a dry laugh.

"Two can play at that game, and I'm pretty damn sure you don't want me to play." Jaebum said from the otherside of the stall door. Jinyoung mocked him silently. "Yah! Don't think just because I can't see you I don't know what you're doing. Stop mocking me." The toilet flushed followed by a zipping sound and the creak of the stall door.

" _Stop mocking me_ ㅡ give me the best you got Im Jaebum." Jinyoung challenged. Jaebum laughed while washing his hands. He turned around and leaned against the sink, a smirk playing at his lips.

"Ughh, _Oh Mark_ , Oh more. _Please_ , Mark. _Touch me_ ㅡ Oh god _yes_ ㅡ "Jaebum teased the younger. Jinyoung's face flushed red as he slapped his hand over Jaebum's mouth to stop him. Jaebum, of course, continued the muffled moans and Jaebum's saliva layering against Jinyoung's hand. He scrunched his face, disgusted as Jaebum closed his eyes and let out a loud and long mewl.

The door to the bathroom opened. Jinyoung wanted to cry, Jaebum just laughed at Jinyoung expression before glancing at who walked in. Jaebum's expression went blank as he looked back at Jinyoung, panic evident in his eyes. Jinyoung looks over and about peed himself. His heart was beating so fast, his eyes went wide as he took his hand away from Jaebum's mouth and wiped the spit on his jeans. Jinyoung stood in shame as he looked at the other who'd just entered.

"I-I swear this i- _isn't_ what it looks like!" Was all Jinyoung managed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyoooo~ its me again the loser author!
> 
> So the next chapter (k.)WILL be up soon I PROMISE so please leave feedback or nice comments below it always encourages me to see them!! Even if I don't respond I usually read them all so if you feel like you want to leave something that will ACTUALLY be read, I will try my best to respond but I will definately read it.
> 
> Thank you again for reading this boring story, please leave kudos and comments and wait for the next chapter!!
> 
> 캄사합니다~! (im learning please don't mind me)
> 
> (OH YEAH SORRY FOR THE LAME ATTEMPT AT SMUTish MY BAD)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of short buttt~~
> 
> Anyways please enjoy.

Mark didn't know how to feel. He just stood shocked at what he was witnessing. He just needed to pee, _what the fuck_.

He hates himself for always walking in at the wrong times. But now his hate turned towards the other for the hundreth time since he's met him. 

It annoyed him really, but he felt angry. His heart felt like it stopped for a second. He felt dissapointment but at the same time he wasn't suprised to find Jinyoung basically on top of Jaebum in the bathroom.

Jinyoung on the other hand, panicked. Mark noticed him quickly moving away from Jaebum. Wiping whatever off his hands, on his pants. Mark could only guess. He looked towards the last stall then back to Jinyoung. 

"I _swear_ to you, this _isn't_ what it looks like." Jinyoung stuttered his words. Mark didn't know how to feel. He studied Jinyoung's face for a second before nodding. The younger looked panicked, of course, Mark mostly paid attention to the guilt written all over his face. 

He litterally had **G U I L T** written in big black letters on his forehead. 

"I just need to pee.." He said pressing his lips into a straight line. He started walking towards the farthest stall. He reached the door, pushing it open. Jinyoung quickly grabbed the stall door and pulled it closed hurridly. 

"Y-you _really_ don't want to go in there." Jinyoung stuttered again, his face flushed red. He avoided eye contact with Mark, a guilty expression on his face. Mark felt himself grow angrier. He tried brushing it off, walking into s different stall and locking it before Jinyoung could do anything to stop him again. 

"Whatever." He mumbled. 

"It's your fault for painting something that wasn't supposed to be painted." Mark heard Jaebum whisper to Jinyoung who groaned. 

"Don't put it in that context, _please_." Jinyoung whispered back. Jaebum chuckled, a slapping sound sounding loudly through the bathroom before Jinyoung muttered to Jaebum. "I hate you."

" _You're_ the one who got a boner in class. Why do you hate _me_? " Jaebum said all too loudly. Jinyoung punched his shoulder. " _Asshole_." 

"Don't _say_ it so loud. It's not like you helped me in any way. You _laughed_ at me and scared the shit out of me when you knocked on the door." Jinyoung whined. Jaebum laughs again. Mark feels like he should leave now, because he really didn't want to listen to this converdstion between the two. 

"Shut up, Pabo-yah." Jaebum orders. Jinyoung growls at him before the loud squeek of the stall door opening made Jinyoung turn around. Mark walked to the sink, ignoring the two boys to his right. "Well, I'm leaving." Jaebum says, standing from the sink and walking out without another word. 

Jinyoung sighs in relief, before Jaebum peeks his head bavk in the doorway and whispers. "Be careful Jinyoung, Mark might give you another _hard carry_." He winked and laughed as he disappeared through the doorway again. 

Jinyoung felt himself burn red, he covered his face until he heard foot steps leading to the doorways. Jinyoung panicked, grabbing Mark's wrist without thinking. He freaked out, staring at the wrist he wrapped his hand around. 

_Why did I do that?_

Jinyoung looked up at Mark. The older seemed impatient, annoyed, angry. "Are you mad?" Was all that came out. Jinyoung instantly regrets saying it. He let go of Mark's wrist the older turning towards him. 

"Why would I be mad?" He asked. Jinyoung didn't know how to answer. Mark's gaze felt heavy on him. He wondered why Mark was still here, he could've just left and completely ignored Jinyoung. Jinyoung stayed silent. 

"I- I," Jinyoung felt his face flush for the umpteenth time. "Iㅡ"

"I don't have a right to be angry," Mark stated. He swallowed nervously before saying the next line. "Even if I liked you." Jinyoung looked up, Mark's expression was serious, but he couldn't be. 

_He likes me?_

"Y-you like m-me?" Jinyoung asked quietly. Mark didn't answer, he only turned away. 

"Your friend does." He said before starting to walk out. Jinyoung's voice halted him. 

"He was joking." Jinyoung says, watching Mark look over his shoulder. He smiled a little. 

"I'm sure he was." Was all he said before he disapeared out the door. 

He took a breath of relief, he turned to look at himself in the mirror. He was red, his ears burnt red. He looked like a _mess_. 

The truth was that he _was_ a mess.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> The usual leave comments and kudos please, thank you~~


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ignore mistakes ( the usual thing I say ) and enjoy~~~

Jinyoung looked at the cheap phone in front of him. _It's only temporary._ He thinks. _It'll be fine._

He doesn't know whether or not Mark was serious about the phone thing, but he had his number. 

So with shakey hands he typed the number into the phone _._

_Should I call?_

_No, no. He'd think I'm weird._

_What the fuck. I don't care what he thinks._ Jinyoung's finger hovered the call button before he pulled away. 

"No." He mumbled to himself. _No, he'd tell me to hang up._ He looked around the small cafe he sat at. He ordered his coffee and he was waiting, but it was seemingly taking too long. He took a breath, looking at his phone one last time before shoving in his pocket. He stood up from his booth and went to the empty counter. He looked for an emplyee, but there was no one. He frowned. He stood at the counter for a minute waiting for someone. He was suprised to see a small male pop up from below the counter.  He looked familiar. 

"I'm sorry, the coffe machine is malfunctioning, it's working nㅡ" The boy looked up from the counter to get a good look at his customer, and almost jumped out of his skin. "J-Jinyoung?!" He asked frightened. Jinyoung's eyebrows furrowed. 

"Do I know you," He asked, looking at the nametag on the left of his small apron. "Youngjae?" He finished. The youger's eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. 

"N-no. I've just seen you around campus." He quickly says, slightly confused that Jinyoung wouldn't remember beatimg the shit out if him in the hallway. 

Jinyoung's reputation at school wasn't exactly a good one, but this kid looked terrified.

"Sorry, I'm not good with faces." He said quietly, looking around the shop. 

"What- uhm, would you like?" Youngjae asked nervously. Jinyoung turned back to him and smiled. 

"I already ordered, I was just wondering what was taking so long. I found my answer." He said pointing below the counter.  Youngjae laughs nervously.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll get your drink to you soon." He says, frantically moving. Dropping his plastic cup nervously then apologising repeatedly, going to stand in front of the coffe machine.  

"I'll wait at my booth." Jinyoung speaks, the kid at the small coffee machine jumps, then nods. Jinyoung his presence wasn't helping the uneasiness feeling the younger employee wad giving off. 

Jinyoung waited in his booth, looking at the door every time the small bell rang. He looked towards the counter, his coffee was in the youngers hand, but the longer line in front of the counter held him back from bringing Jinyoung his coffee. The younger employee looked towards Jinyoungs table, an apologetic look painted his face. Jinyoung smiled and waved him off. He wasn't too far from the counter, so he could probably just grab it, but he found amusement in (scaring) the other boy. So he waited. 

After a while of silence and fast paced work from Youngjae, the bell above the door rang. He looked over to Youngjae who looled at Jinyoung's (now cold) coffee and threw it out, making a warm one. He noticed that Jaebum had finally shown up, making his way to the counter. He was quiet, which was something new to Jinyoung. His hands her held on the edges of the counter, his bottom lip stuck between his teeth. 

Jinyoung's eyebrows furrowed, he observed Jaebum's rather _odd_ body language. He watched as Youngjae turned around and turned cold. His angry look even scared Jinyoung a bit. Jaebums grip on the edge of the counter tightened.

"What can I get for you, Mr. ?" Youngjae's jaw visibley clenched. He looked down at the notepad with eyes that Jinyoung swore the younger could start the small pad on fire with.

"The regular." Jaebum's voice came out hushed, but it wasn't quiet enough to be out of Jinyoung's earshot.

"What would that be?" Youngjae said his arms falling to his side, his notepad fallowing suit. 

"You would know, Youngjae. You've taken it many times before." Jaebum said harshly. Jinyoung watches Jaebum's bruised knuckles tighten around the counter. Youngjae looked up to meet Jaebum's eyes.

"Sorry. I don't remember, you'll have to remind me." He replies through clenched teeth. Youngjae's glare seems to get to him, ao he gave the other his order and waited quietly. When Youngjae was finished he pushed the cup towards Jaebum, in which the older went to grab. Their hands touched for a split second, the cold expression in Youngjae wore changes. Jinyoung noted that he looked hurt, his eyes flickered quickly from Jaebum to the floor as he turned to walk yo the back room.

" _Don't touch me._ " Youngjae muttered as he walked away. Jaebum stayed at the counter until Youngjae conpletely disappeared behind the door with a red sign that read 'staff only ' in big white letters.

He studied Jaebum's unsettled expression as he made his way to Jinyoung's table. Jinyoung chuckled as Jaebum sat down. Jaebum sending him an angry look.

"What was that?" Jinyoung leans forward placing his head on his hands, as if getting good gossip.

"What was what?" Jaebum asks, sending a glare to Jinyoung as he sipped his coffee.

"What was that ?"Jinyoung asks, pointing towards Youngjae who appeared from the door once more. He disappears under a counter l, appearing with towels as he wiped the wooden counters off. He stops when he notices Jinyoung's coffee still on the counter. He looks towards the table, seeing Jaebum and Jinyoung staring, letting out a huge sigh before throwing the second cup of coffee away.

"I still don't know what you mean." Jaebum turned around avoiding Jinyoung's eyes. He took another drink from his coffee as he looked out the window.

"Do you like him?" Jinyoung pries, with a small smile on his face. He raised an eyebrow when Jaebum looked at the boy again while he remade Jinyoung's coffee. He turned back around, his eyes staring down at his coffee.

" _No_." 

"Liar."

"Do I fucking ask if you like Mark?" Jaebum asked, grabbing the attention of a few customers and the working boy. Youngjae's eyes furrowed as Jinyoung noted the younger listening in on their conversation. "I don't fucking pry in your business because I could give less than _two shits_ about you springing _one too many_ boners for some kid you choked in a hallway when you were drunk." Jaebum ranted. Jinyoung shut his mouth.

"Sorry."

" _Yeah?_ Well you should be." Jaebum harshly says.

"Yah! Don't be an such an asshole I was just asking a question." Jinyoung's voice gets louder with each word.

"Shut the fuck up, you're being loud." Jaebum mutters.

"And your outburst wasn't?!"

"I think you should really shuㅡ"

"I'd appreciate if you didn't fight in my shop." Youngjae's voice booms over both of their arguing. They both look up at him. His eyes burning holes in them. "This is a place for enjoyment and if you want to fight to do it somewhere else." Youngjae puts the cup in front of Jinyoung. The older going to grab his wallet out of his pocket, but Youngjae stops him.

"It's the policy to give drinks free of they are made more two times." Youngjae says. He turns to walk away, but he didn't move. His fists clenched as he turned around once more. 

"Youngjae?" Jinyoung asks. Youngjae glares at the table between the two boys. 

"I'd appreciate if you didn't talk about me  or my friend. Mark hasn't done anything, so leave him alone." Youngjae says. The last part quieter than his first sentance. The boy stayed at Jaebum and Jinyoung's table for a moment, he looked from the middle of the tsble to Jaebum. Jaebum's face changes and he stands up to go after Youngjae who was walking away quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh~ what's happening with Jaebum amd Youngjae?? 
> 
> Idkk. You'll have to wait til next chapter (; 
> 
> Thank you for reading~


	10. Chapter 10

"I told you not to touch me!" Youngjae practically screamed at Jaebum who followed him into the staff room. Jaebum tightened his grip around Youngjae's wrist. Youngjae moves his arm frantically. "It hurts! Stop, Jaebum!"

Jaebum lets go. Youngjae snatching his wrist away and backing away from Jaebum. He rubs his wrist which was red from the grip Jaebum had. "I'm sorry." Jaebum incoherently mumbled.

"Why would you do that? I'm at work!" Youngjae yelled. "Why do you barge into everything in my life?! You've done enough don't you think?"

"I'm sorry." Jaebum says again.

"Are you? Are you really? After everything you've done, you think a sorry will cut it?!" Youngjae yells. "I've tried with you Jaebum! Nothing was good enough! Nothing." Youngjae's voice cracked. "Do you think a sorry will really help?"

"Iㅡ"

"Shut up!" Jaebum closed his mouth. He felt like a kid being scolded by their mother. But instead he was older, and by someone he really cared about. "Just.. shut up." Youngjae broke out in tears. Jaebum stood his ground. Looking at the crying boy in front him. He wanted to hug him, kiss him until he felt better. Make him smile and be happier than he is right now. Because Jaebum knows he messed up. No, he completely fucked up.

Jaebum stood quietly, watching the boy weep away in front of him. He hated himself for leaving Youngjae the way he did. He hated himself for letting himself hurt Youngjae in the way he did.

"Why did you have to do it with them Jaebum!"  Youngjae screamed through his sobs. He started fell to his knees. _"Why.."_ Jaebum moved to catch him before he hit the ground. Slowly bringing them down together. Jaebum wrapped his arms around Youngjae as the boy sobbed into his jacket.

"It's all your fault Jaebum!" Youngjae hit his chest. "I hate you. I hate you so much." Jaebum ran his fingers through the younger's hair, shushing him ask he yelled at Jaebum for the things he's done, but yet still let the older hold him the way he was. This whole situation was shit to begin with. It was his fault that they were in that position in the first place. Youngjae wouldn't have hated him if he didn't do what he did. And of course he regrets it. God, he hasn't prayed ever before until he met Youngjae. Jaebum didn't understand the feeling Youngjae gave him. He was sweaty all the time, and he worried that he looked bad whenever they were together. He felt nervous, and his attention wad called every time he heard Youngjae's name. Every time he saw the boy his heart would pick up, and tease him with it's loud beating.

For the most part, he loved the feeling of being happy with Youngjae. The other half of him, hated it. More specifically how happy he always was. He smiled, always. The younger never failed to make Jaebum smile, but it made him question why he was like that. Why he was so focused on keeping everyone around him happy, but never cared about his own feelings. Even if it tore him apart, if Jaebum needed emotional support, he'd ride his damn bike and zero below just to help.

He knew that Youngjae wasn't all smiles, giggles, and unicorns all the timeㅡ this time would be an example. He always questioned how he kept his happy demeanor. How he was prim and proper and so many people loved him. He also questioned how so many people ignored how the younger felt.

He wondered how he managed being happy all the time. How he can comfort others and manage to mask his own feelings.

With that privilege to see his best, Jaebum has seen his worst. Youngjae is happy on the outside, but Jaebum really knows better. Even if Jaebum messed up. And he knows he did. He promises to fix himself, even if it means letting Youngjae go. He knew it would take going through hell for Youngjae to forgive him. But if it means walking through fire to see the sun shine one last time. He'd do it.

"I'm sorry Youngjae." His arms tighten around Youngjae. "I know it hurts. I'll make ot better. I promise." The giggles and smiles Youngjae he once knew, had dissolved into a crying and sorrowful boy. Jaebum thought it was all his fault.

"You can't promise anything anymore." Youngjae said. "I can't trust you anymore. Not after everything." He wiped his tears and shakily stood up as he makes his way to the staff room bathroom. 

Youngjae looked in the mirror, his eyes were puffy and red. He looked like a mess. He tried his classic sunshine smile, but his lip quivered before tears ran down his cheeks. He looked away from the mirror, tired. He splashed cold water on his face before walking back out to the staff room. Jaebum was gone. But he guessed that was good. 

When he walked outside of the staff room the cafe was empty. It was almost 11 pm before he closed shop and headed home. Something in him hoped he ran into Jinyoung again so they could beat him to death, but the other half said to ignore short cuts this time. He made his way home with his headphones blaring in his ears. 

His eyes hurt. His head hurt. He hurt. 

Once Youngjae walked into his apartment, he dropped everything and walked to his bedroom. Staring at the ceiling, trying to think of where things went wrong. 

 

  
_"Jaebumie?"  Youngjae smiled brightly as he ran to the older, hugging him from behind. He sighed contently. "I missed you so much~"_

_"Jae-ah, are you going to let go anytime soon? We're in public." Jaebum turns around  in his boyfriend's arms an hugs him back._

_"I can't let go now with you holding me so tight!"  Youngjae says cutely as they swayed back and forth in the middle of the sidewalk. Jaebum ignored all the weird looks they got from people passing by._

_"Maybe I don't want to let you go." Jaebum smiled and stilled their swaying. "Maybe I don't want you to let me go." He leaned down and pressed a small, gentle kiss to his boyfriend's lips and smiled as he pulled away. Youngjae teasingly hit Jaebum on the shoulder. And the older couldn't lie when he says that loved the way Youngjae got shy when he did something cheesy or cute. But even more so, he loved the cute blush that roamed the younger's cheeks when he did do something like that._

_"I love you Bummie." Youngjae says, burying his face in Jaebum's shoulder. The older only chuckles, and presses another small kiss on the younger boy's forehead. Jaebum placed is hand underneath Youngjae's chin, moving his face so that his eyes could meet Youngjae's. He pressed another kiss to the Younger's lips, followed by a sweet;_

_"I love you too, my little prince." He says and Youngjae's face lights up in a pretty pink color. Youngjae starts complaining about people staring at them when he gets too embarrassed. Jaebum only chuckles and pouts, earning a cute slap from the younger again. He smiled before grabbing Youngjae and looking at him expectantly. He raised an eyebrow when Youngjae looked at him confused. He pursed his lips and pointed to them, closing his eyes._

_"But hyung." Youngjae whined, still blushing like a school girl. Jaebum ignored him and pulled him closer, pointing to his lips once more._

_"Just a peck, Jae." He says, smiling and pursing his lips again. He closes his eyes and wait, he feels the younger's hesitation so he decides to initiate. He steps closer, opening one eye to peek. Youngjae looked afraid, like if he did kiss Jaebum that he would get arrested or in trouble. Jaebum smiled as Youngjae noticed the older watching him, his pretty pink cheeks turning a rosy red. Jaebum tried keeping his lips pursed, but his smile took over when Youngjae placed his hand on his chest. Leaning closer and closer, to Jaebum it felt like it would take a long ten  years before Youngjae finally did it. So he ran his fingers through Youngjae's hair, resting his hands on the back of his head. He opened his eyes to meet Youngjae's but the Youngjae had his eyes closed, moving closer to Jaebum and pressing their lips together._

_Jaebum smiled into the kiss, moving his lips first since he knew Youngjae was to shy to actually kiss him. The tense boy now more relaxed as he started moving his lips with Jaebum's. Youngjae's lips were soft. Like really soft, and Jaebum realized they were all his. His lips, the smile he had when he thought no one was around to see it. Hell, he even got to see the younger sleep safely and soundly. He's seen Youngjae half naked, and eating like a pig. He's seen Youngjae at his best, but he knew he'd love Youngjae even after the worst._

_Youngjae's hands gripping the fabric on Jaebum's chest. The older moved a hand down to rest on Youngjae's cheek, rubbing his thumb gently over the mole under his right eye. The first one to pull away was Jaebum. Overwhelmed by how amazing his boyfriend kissed when it was his first actual kiss. He wondered if Youngjae felt amazed by it too, or if it was just him. When he opened his eyes, Youngjae was smiling up at him. The bright canine sunshine smile that Youngjae finds ugly, but Jaebum finds the most beautiful thing he's ever seen._

_Jaebum smiled. "I just wanted a peck." He teased. Youngjae's pink cheeks returned before he stood on the tips of his toes and gave Jaebum a small peck on the lips. He smiled and relaxed back into the ground._

_"There." He smile up at Jaebum and the older let him go. But Youngjae laced their fingers and started walking back to the older's apartment, talking about the most random things like, otters and strawberry milk, all the way to Jaebum's cat Nora, and Youngjae's dog Coco._

 

This was Youngjae's favorite memory of him and Jaebum. When they were together.

 _What happened to that happiness..?_ Youngjae asks himself. He wonders if it was really all on Jaebum. Maybe he was just being too harsh?

Maybe he wasn't.

He doesn't know.

He just wants it to stop.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading~ 
> 
> I'm going through comments tonight so please leave some on this chapter~~
> 
> 감사합니다~~


	11. Chapter 11 (Markjae Story pt1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I KNOW. I'm SO very sorry for not updating, I've finished my class and have been really busy with personal problems lately, and mental health before all! 
> 
> Thank you guys for sticking with me and my slow updates. This chapter took about three days to write which means my next one won't be too far away!
> 
> This chapter is just breaching 4000 words so be prepared, it's a long one. (Markjae begins towards the end!!)
> 
> ㅡthe usual unedited.

Youngjae's _exhausted_. He doesn't mean physically (which could count), but emotionally. He hates everything Jaebum is, he hates everything Jaebum has become. Adding to the Jaebum situation, he's probably going to have to deal with it more often now that the older knows where he works. 

 _Mark was there to protect me from Jaebum one night, but it doesn't mean he'll always be here to protect me._ Youngjae felt angered. He always did what he was supposed to, he was sweet, he was gentle with others, he helped people a lot, at least he tried to be an actual good person instead of being a full-time asshole. What did he do to deserve this, to be pushed around by a bunch of idiots. To have to act like everything in his life is fine because no one would listen. He must've killed someone in his past life because whatever he did do, he knows he doesn't deserve this. Or maybe he does. 

Everything in his life was hell anyway, his parents weren't always there to support him. His mother works hard for the family (that barely survives as it is), she often got too sick and was released from the job because she had to travel a lot. His father who was an alcoholic, used most of the money that was earned while his mother could work, on alcohol. Most of his anger of being able to drink or work properly was taken out on his mother. The long list of things he wished he could unsee when it came to his father. The cheating, the lying, the drinking, the abuse. Once Youngjae turned 15, he spent his nights working so that he could pay for his mother's medical bills. Over time his mother only got worse so he decided to get a real job. Youngjae almost left school, his job was a waiter at the most expensive restaurant in the city was all too tiring if he wanted to pursue his studies and be a student. He's not even sure if he'd gotten the job fairly, or if it was out of pity. 

His older sister, Jieun, took over before things got worse. Her job payed her well, which is why she left when he was 10, to pursue her studies. She worked in a tiny office for hours, working her way up in status and getting closer to the CEO of the company she worked at. But she never overstepped her boundaries. She moved Youngjae into her apartment after finding about the way he was living at home. He quit his job, and became a better student. Hoping that when he started his sophomore year in high school things wouldn't be so bad. He hoped his friends would treat him well, and that they had nice parents to go home to and eat dinner with. Parents that didn't abuse them and get released from work because of health issues. Parents that wouldn't abandon them even when they did stupid things. Parents who loved them, and cherished them for what they could do. 

He met amazing friends; Jinki, Kibum, Jaebum, Taekwoon, Changkyun, Kihyun, Xiumin, Yoo Youngjae. These were all his closest friends, even when Xiumin moved to Japan a day before school started up. He called his friends every night to tell him about his experiences with the cute girl from class B.  Youngjae usually made up stories of cute girls he saw in the hallways, even though by then he was sure about his sexuality. He hasn't told his friends yet, but he was sure they got the hint by then. Him dodging any girl questions thrown his way, but still listening to stories that his friends told. 

His friends were very protective of the small boy. He was their child  in their eyes. Youngjae found it ridiculous sometimes, but he loved it more than he said so. Even if they sometimes embarrassed him by squeezing his cheeks and calling him baby boy in front of his older sister. But she just laughed along and left them alone to study. 

It wasn't too long until Youngjae crossed paths with his father, on the way home from school. Youngjae was walking with his friends, laughing over what now Youngjae thought were stupid stories about liking the girls who  Changkyun tried tried getting panties from. 

 _"Youngjae-yah!"_ The old man yelled. Youngjae remembers this memory too well. They were all laughing as they passed the quiet bar on their way homes. The laughing ceased and they all stopped once the voice boomed into their conversation, they turned towards the voice. An old man, that Youngjae barely calls a father stood there. He reeked of it. The smell that made his nose scrunch in disgust. The all too familiar breath of an alcoholic. All Youngjae did was stand frozen. His red uniform which should've blended him in with the others, made him feel impossibly noticeable from a mile away. He gulped loudly, his whole body going cold. He opened his mouth to say something, anything along the lines 'stop, I don't know you' but all that came out was a desperate whimper. He tried moving when he realized he didn't say anything. His heart beating out of his chest as the man he dares call a father approaches them. 

"Youngjae." Jaebum whispers from beside him. His hand resting on Youngjae's but the younger still couldn't move. Youngjae was afraid. God he's never been so afraid in his life. He counted the steps in which his father was taking. 1- 2, _Jaebum gave Youngjae's hand light squeezes,_ 3-4-5, _Youngjae squeezed back tightly, not letting go._ 6-7, _He's getting so close, Youngjae's heart might stop at this rate._ 8-9, _he feels his eyes glass over as the man's hand raises above his head. The all too familiar action_. 10-11 _Only a few steps left, Youngjae thinks. His eyes forcing shut before the warmth of Jaebum's hand is gone._ 12-13-14. _Youngjae knows his father is there and he misses Jaebum's warmth. A loud smack that sounded through the quiet street proved that his father was there._ The only thing missing was the sting of it the hit, the bitter pain from it. It took him a second to realize that it wasn't him that was hit. He opened his eyes, everything around him was different. It's like it all happened so slowly. Jaebum was stood in front of him, the older's head thrown to the side because of the hit.

"Jaebum-ah!" Someone yelled. Youngjae just guessed that it was Jinki, as the elder pushed past the others to push the large man who had hit him away. The others recovered from the shock quicker than he did, as they all started moving the man away, Kihyun pulling Jaebum away from the scene and running off with him.

Youngjae watched in slow motion as Jaebum passed, running with Kihyun a large red mark on his face where he'd been hit. Youngjae felt weak, he couldn't move. He felt  a million emotions flood through him at once; happiness from not getting hit, fear of what his father could do to his friends, guilt for Jaebum getting hit, hatred towards the man he onced looked up to, he could go on but he rather wouldn't. 

He opened his mouth just to close it. Tears reaching their limits and streaming down his cheeks. He watched as his friends fought with the man. The screaming from Taekwoon who was pushed off, and Changkyun who's hair was being pulled, muffled by the loud sound of his heart. He felt his breathing picking up when he watched everything. A few men from outside the bar just watching everything with smug smiles on their face, and dry laughs. 

 _Youngjae, do something._ He thought, but when he tried moving he just didn't.  _Don't be so pathetic Youngjae, you were the one who hurt Jaebum so do something about it!_ His conscience pushing him to do something. 

_You like him don't you?_

_Then do something!_

Youngjae swallowed nervously, his feet moving on their own, _Good- keep running, faster Youngjae, hurt him. Make sure he pays for what he did to our family!_  Youngjae pushed past his friends and threw a hard kick at the man's stomach sending him hard into the ground. He crawled on top of the man, ignoring his friends who are yelling for him to stop, or trying to push him away. The man below seemed in shock, surprised of what his son was capable of. Youngjae held on hand open on his father chest. Raising a shaking fist in the air. He hesitated, pondering on whether he can do it, or if it would backfire. 

 _Do it Youngjae, don't stop now. Punch him!_  Youngjae's conscious told him. He yelled as he threw the first punch, followed by a second one, then a third, until he couldn't count how many he threw. His friends standing back and watching their sunshine pummel the man who'd innocently called his name, but _not so_ innocently hit Jaebum. 

"Y-Youngjae!" Jinki yelled, he was the first one to fight past the shock and grab Youngjae's arm. Youngjae just elbowed the elder and he backed away. His other friends not wanting in on anymore pain from the two haphazardness people, staying back. Youngjae ignored everything around him, the shouts from his friends, the approaching sirens, the loud shouts of men from the bar, and the familiar female voice that was approaching, yelling for him to stop. He ignored it all. Youngjae tried catching his breath, but it was too hard for him. His heart pumping at a million beats her second, he felt like he could just collapse right then and there. 

The boy screamed as he punched harder, the man underneath him unable to block the boy's fists. He couldn't even stop him, he was holding on to his consciousness as the boy's punches became slower. The screaming turning into sobs of 'I hate you', or 'You did this', 'I wish you would've left', 'You would've stopped.'  

Youngjae was punching the man weakly as the tears streamed down his face. It took a minute for him to register himself being pulled off of the man that he now called a stranger. He felt a pair of muscular arms wrap around him, pulling further away. Youngjae only cried out and let himself be dragged further away. 

Everything around him was weary, his friends backing away from the seemingly lifeless man on the sidewalk, his older sister yelling something inaudible to him. All he can focus on is the warmth from the arms around him and the soft voice whispering in his ear. 

"It's okay, Jae-ah."  Jaebum's soothing voice filled his head. His heart hurt, his tears wouldn't stop falling, his hands ached, and his throat hurt from singing. But somehow, being in Jaebum's arms he felt a bit of security. 

"Jaebum-ah." He cried out holding on tightly to the arms around his chest. The older shushed him and held him tighter against his body. " _Jaebumie_." He breathed out shakily. Youngjae saw the bright lights flashing to his right. His group of friends basically whipped Youngjae off his feet and started running. Jinki and Kibum pulling his sister along since she was slower. 

ㅡ

All the boys had changed out of their uniforms, now all sitting on the couch in the living room with a huge bowl of untouched popcorn and roaming minds that can't pay attention to the movie. The first words to break the silence were from Kibum after Jinki sneezed. 

"Bless you."

" _Thanks_." 

The second sentence being a simple 'Youngjae can you pass me the popcorn?' The simple answer being ' _sure_ '.

Youngjae's sister walked into the living ready to join them with the movie, almost instantly turning around when she saw the incredibly awkward aura hanging around these boys. Their eyes didn't even break away from the television to give her a glance. She sighed then cleared her throat. Youngjae's eyes shifted to her, the desperate look in his eyes showing how much he hated this situation. 'Do something.' She mouthed his way, he shook his head slightly, the other boys seemed to not notice. She sent him a reassuring smile and nodded. He shook his head. 'Then say something' She mouthed quickly. He shook his head once more. She sighed, walking back out of the kitchen. Youngjae's eyes lingered on the spot that his sister walked away from, before his eyes moved themselves to Jaebum who was sat to his right. Jaebum looked forward, he looked soulless, he didn't even blink, Youngjae shivered. He looked to his other friends at his leftㅡKibum and Jinki on the couch, Kihyun and Changkyun on the floor beneath them, Yoo Youngjae and Taekwoon sat on the other side of the table, they all had the same exact expression. They all looked dead, stuck in their thoughts. 

_What happened wasn't all that bad right? It really wasn't. Right?_

He cleared his throat loudly, the room seemed to become more tense. Jaebum even jumped, he scooted himself closer to the elder. Not looking over at him, already knowing he was probably still staring awkwardly at the TV.

"We should talk about.. whatever we need to." Youngjae stated loudly, making the two boys sitting on the ground jump and hold onto each other. Youngjae felt like melting under the gazes of everyone around him. 

Cue his sister walking in (at the wrong moment) with a bunch of cups of tea for everyone. Just to freeze and look at Youngjae who nodded. She smiled and set down the tea before fleeing for her life. She stayed on the other side of the living room, halfway in the hallway, her head peeked in.

The younger boy scooted to the floor with his blanket wrapped around him, he grabbed a cup from the tray his sister put on the table. Jaebum sits next to him, pulling the blanket that Youngjae had around his shoulders to loop around the two of them. Youngjae felt the older's warm arms wrap around him. His head finding a comfortable position leaning against his. Youngjae felt his heart pick up at the simple action.  He smiled at his cup of tea when the others picked their's up and comfortably sat on the floor around the table. 

"Where do I start?" Youngjae asks more to himself than anyone else. 

"Where ever you want." Kibum replied, realizing he was talking to himself. 

"Where do you _want_ me to start?"  

"Oh for _god's sake_ , I'll  start the damn story." His older sister bursted in from around the corner. She huddled around the coffee table with the boys, sitting between Yoo Youngjae who just so happened to find his older sister cute and Taekwoon who thought Wonshik's teddybear underwear were cute ㅡ cue YooYoo's blush when Youngjae's sister sat next to him. 

"Youngjae and I didn't grow up _so well_.." She said pausing for a moment. Youngjae chuckled making Jieun look at him questioningly.

"What an _understatement_." Was all he said. Jieun waited a minute before she looked up and met eyes with her Younger brother making sure it was okay with him to tell this story. The younger nodded, reassuring her that it was fine and she continued. "Our mother.. she's sick and she couldn't work because of her constant health problems, and even when she did work the medical bills were far  too much for just her to handle.. Youngjae started working at a young age.. he worked  so that our mother wouldn't have to deal with so much debt, he tried hard to pay for the bills, but what he did wasn't enough. So he tried applying for other jobs, a cashier at the local convenience store, working at a small pet store an feeding the animals, he couldn't even land the bus boy position for a small Chinese restaurant that we used to live down the street from, but he kept trying, and finally landed a spot at one of the fanciest restaurants in the city. They overworked him and he wanted to quit his studies so he could help out at home.." 

"It paid well." Youngjae chimed in, "The job gave me more than enough and half of what I earned my father took so that he could drink. I didn't really care at first. Thinking _'I_ _f I give it to him, he won't bother me'_  but oh boy was I wrong. The money I earned from that job was so much more than the one I struggled with before. It took something that I could never get back, and I regret everything that happened while I worked there." His sister clears her throat signalling for him to move from the subject, so he did. "My father, was the man that we saw. The things I tried doing for my family was never really enough," His voice went softer, he felt Jaebum's hand reach to cup his smaller ones around the cup of untouched tea. "He would always blame me for stupid shit that he did himself, or taking the money I needed to eat lunch the next day to go drinking with his friends. It's not like I could stop him anyways. I never could, I never thought I would be able to." 

"You're stronger than you think, sunshine." Taekwoon says with a soft smile. "Don't underestimate what you can do." Youngjae could only give him a small smile and nod.

"Jieun stepped in when she realized my situation. By then I was 14, maybe 15. My mother was sick again, hurting, needing help from anyone who was  home, but with him working so much the only person being his father, who was passed out from the major hangover he had to deal with until he started drinking again." Youngjae said. "Jieun moved my stuff for me, but I don't know how she did it, my father would've killed me if I stepped foot in the house to even grab a backpack." He said, she just gave him a smile (that he could see straight through) and shrugged, she moved her hand to her sideㅡmoving her thumb over a certain spot. Youngjae pretended he didn't notice and smiled at her, and she returned it. Youngjae took a breath before he finishing.

"To sum it all up, my fatherㅡthe man that we saw on the streets, ruined my life, almost killed my mother numerous times, ruined my sister's life, killed any dream of becoming what I want, putting my sister down, made me leave my dying mother with him so he could beat her more than she has been since she's been with him. And my mother couldn't do anything." Youngjae said all in one breath, ( _maybe two_ ). 

It was silent for the next few minutes. Everyone either thinking about whether they still want to be Youngjae's friends, or about why no one was talking. Youngjae opened his mouth to say something but didn't say anything, just closed it again. He felt Jaebum's hands leave his and looked over to the older who was standing up. 

I knew someone would leave me.. Why did you tell them everything, stupid Youngjae.

He watched the older as he stood up and started walking away in disappointment. Of all people.. Jaebum. He sighed. "I need to pee." He said standing up and walking out quickly. He kept his eyes on the floor the whole time, already memorizing the twists and turns of his sister's apartment. It was when a pair of feet appeared in front of him, and a broad chest that his head bumped intoㅡ his heart pumped out of his chest. He slowly lifted his head from the bare feet that were toe-to-toe with his only to meet Jaebum's eyes.

"I thought you left." Youngjae said quietly. Jaebum shook his head.

"There isn't anywhere I woud go without you." He chuckled softly, "Besides the bathroom." He pointed behind him towards the closed door of the bathroom. Youngjae only smiled letting out a small laugh, finding a comfortable space for his bottom lip between his teeth.

I knew he wouldn't leave. Youngjae looked to the floor again. Why would I doubt Jaebum. He'd never leave me.

"I'm.. sorry." Youngjae started, his eyes moving from the floor to meet Jaebum's own brown orbs. They drifted off to his cheek, the younger's hand moving up to brush his fingers against the forming bruise. He felt guilty. After all, wasn't it his fault for the older getting hit? He let out a huff of breath, feeling tears forming in his eyes. He held on to his bottom lip, now trying to hold back all the emotion he didn't want to show. His glassy orbs gave him away, especially when he met Jaebum's eyes and the older sucked all of that emotion out of him. Bringing the tears that were being held back, to fall down his cheeks.

His heart ached, _he_ ached. When Jaebum's arms wrapped around him, he swears he's never felt so safe in his life. He had to admit that along with the safety, he felt afraid. He wrapped himself around Jaebum, soaking Jaebum's _too-big-on-me_ sweater with his tears, which never stopped flowing. Jaebum's hand running through Youngjae's soft hair as the younger boy held fists full of the back of his shirt as he cried.

"Shh.. It's okay baby boy." Jaebum whispers and planting smal kisses on Youngjae's forehead. Youngjae's knees felt weak with every small kiss that was planted. He gripped Jaebum's shirt when he felt himself starting to love balance. "Woah there." Jaebum said, quickly moving his hands to the younger's waist.

"Sorry, hyung." Youngjae said, regaining his balance. He let go of Jaebum's shirt, older's hands remained on his waist.

"Why do you always apologize?" Jaebum asked, pulling Youngjae closer. Youngjae let out a huff of air, praying that Jaebum couldn't feel his heart beating as fast as it was. Youngjae kept his eyes closed. Feeling the warmth from the elder as he leaned closer, and closer, and closer until he could feel Jaebum's hot breath tingling his lips.

 

 ** _Stop_**.

Youngjae opened his eyes. _Why am I thinking about this? Why do I have to think about Jaebum? Why..?_

He took a deep breath. Letting out a loud groan and putting his head in his hands. He hated clubs, he hates drinking.. yet here he is. In the biggest club in Seoul, getting drunk off his ass to forget the one person he could never get off his mind. Yet here he is.. reminiscing about the times he had with his first love.

Youngjae pushed his empty glass towards the bartender who poured him another. Youngjae downed it in one go before pushing it away one more time and grabbing his phone.

"Slow down kid." The women told him. He only nodded and took a large gulp. He didn't realize how drunk he really was until the brightness from his screen made him dizzy. He groaned and rubbed his eyes before turning the brightness down. He sighed again, taking another drink.

_Let's call.. Mark._

Youngjae dialed the number he'd long memorized just incase he had a repeat of the night they met.

The phone rang, the buzzing just barely audible from the loud scene behind him. It took the elder at least 3 or 4 rings before he picked up.

 _"Hello?"_ A groggy voice answered the phone from the other side, making Youngjae pull his phone away from his face to check the time.

_3:24 am._

_Shit._

_"Uh.. Is anyone there?"_

"Mark-hyung?" The younger asked quickly after the person on the other line spoke.

_"Youngjae? Where are you? Why is it so loud?"_

"Mmm.. I don't know. Where are _you?_ "

_"At.. home? Youngjae are you drunk?"_

"Uh.. well it depends on what your definition of drunk would be." Youngjae sighed contently, he enjoys picking on Mark. He heard a heavy sigh and a long pause as if Mark was deciding what to say.

_"Where are you?"_

"Mmm.. I don't know, I just walked in because it looked like a bar." Cue another exasperated sigh from Mark.

 _"Do you remember what anything on the outside looked like?"_ He asks from the other line.

"Uhhh... Mm, well it had this sign and it was huge. I'm talking bigger than like the krusty krab." Youngjae heard Mark let out a breathy laugh before disguising it with a sigh.

_"Was it.. a purple sign with big red letters?"_

"Holy shit. How'd you know hyung?" Mark only laughed at Youngjae's response. "Are you stalking me perhaps?"

_"No Youngjae. Stay put I'm coming to pick you up. Don't move okay?"_

"I'll get on my pony and ride away if you take too long."

_"Just shut up and wait for me."_

"Mmm... Okay." Youngjae hung up and downed the rest of his drink, his face scrunching because of how strong it was, pushing it up one last time for a refill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading~ 
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos to help me improve my writing and keep me motivated (I try to repond to all but I always read every one of them!) 
> 
> Thank you!! ♡♡


	12. Chapter 12 (Markjae not so Markjae Story pt2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School just started again and the laptops the school hands out has an easier keyboard than my actual writing laptop sooo more updates!!
> 
> I'm currently posting this one (which is kind of short) but I'll make up for it with the next chapter bc I AM WRITING IT RN LITTERALLY
> 
> ANYWAYS I'm H E L L A late like usual and am confident that this is the best chapter so far (:
> 
> Please enjoy!!

"Youngjae!" Mark called from the crowd as he pushed his way to the bar in the far corner of the brightly lit club. The music was too loud, the younger couldn't hear him. 

 _Jesus, I'm not used to this._ He thought, pushing his way through the field of sweaty and intoxicated bodies. The stench of body odor and alcohol hanging heavily in the air, making him feel more nauseous. The lights hurt his eyes, the blotches of light he saw when he looked away not helping his nerves. "Youngjae!" He called again when he heard the clinking of glasses and loud laughter which he hoped was coming from the bar. He sighed, feeling slightly less stressed by the whole thing once he reached a smaller group of people so he made his way to the bar quickly, calling the younger's name once more before the younger actually looked towards him and smiled. He smiled back, rushing his way through the smaller crowd without thinking about anything. Taking a final push to the people around him to make it through before being grabbed by the back of his jacket collar by someone behind him. 

"Watch it asshole!" The man behind him grunted loudly,  _that voice._ Mark thought. That voice seems to follow him everywhere.. Mark's heart fluttered but at the same time it hurt.  He couldn't understand anymore. Not with him. Not with the boy. Mark turned to see none other than Park _fucking_ Jinyoung standing in front of him, a glass in his hand full of whatever . Mark feels like he should be surprised, but he really isn't. He felt more hurt by the gesture than anything. Jinyoung's eyes seem to widen when he realized he grabbed Mark's shirt, slowly letting go of his fistful of Mark's shirt. Mark hoped his face wasn't as red as it felt, the younger's hand remaining on his chest above the wrinkles on the elder's shirt. Mark didn't realize their closeness until the smell of alcohol from Jinyoung's breath hits his senses, making his nose scrunch. He backs away a little, his heart beating a million miles per hour. Jinyoung bows his head slightly. 

"Sorry Mark." He said, making the older freeze up. When the younger faced him, his face reddening out of embarrassment, Mark simply patted his head giving him a forgiving smile 

"It's okay Jinyoungie." The younger's eyes moved up to meet Mark's, then quickly looking away. His cheeks turning a deeper red. Mark hadn't really noticed the crowd around them getting bigger, the people around them pushing them closer together. Jinyoung seemed to have noticed too, comfortably moving himself closer together. Only a slight height difference, making Mark feel awkward since he was the shorter one of the two yet the oldest.  ** _(BIG MOOD MARK)_**

"I hate when people call me that.." Jinyoung said, his facing inching closer to Mark's, the older couldn't move. Heat rising in the pit of his stomach.  _Youngjae.. What about Youngjae..?_ Mark opened his mouth, feeling embarrassed. 

"Soㅡ" Jinyoung shushed him.

"I like it when you do it.. for some reason.." He whispered, the words barely making it to his ears. The younger's breath fanned over his lips an his eyes closed. Mark swallowing whatever pride he had left. He put his hands on the younger's chest, trying to push him away only to grab him and bring him closer. Their lips so close, Mark could scream. Heat pulsed through his body, looking into the other's eyes ran shivers down his spine. Mark seemed to completely forget about the bitter alcohol in Jinyoung's breath as their every breath mingled.  The only things that stopped him was the hand on his arm. The small, chubby hand on his... 

"Youngjae." Mark whispered against Jinyoung's lips, pushing Jinyoung away.

"What?" Jinyoung asked.

"Youngjae!" Mark turned to the boy who was facing the floor, no longer looking in the mood to dance.

"Can we go home now?" He asked like a child who kept nagging their mom to leave the grocery store. Mark looked at Jinyoung who looked ten shades paler than a minute ago, then back at Youngjae who looked around ready to cry. Then he nodded, grabbing Youngjae's hand and pulling him back to the elder's apartment. 

* * *

 

"I'm sorry Youngjae-yah." Mark spoke softly as they walked in the bitter cold night. The younger didn't reply, only keeping his eyes ahead as he led the two down the dimly lit street. 

"Should we take the shortcut, the one that you found me in a while back?" Youngjae asked and Mark nodded. He realized after about minute that Youngjae didn't see him nod because he was ahead of him so he voiced out a tiny 'yes', and Youngjae led them there. 

He stopped before the shadows that caved in on the whole alleyway ahead of them. Sucking in a deep breath.

"We don't have to go this way," The older whispered. "You know.." Mark added, but he knew that Youngjae had already known that. 

"I have to face my fears one day right?" Youngjae said. Mark giving him a questionable side glance. 

"What are you afraid of..?" Mark asked, stepping closer to the younger's side. "You know I'm here right? There's nothing to be afraid of." 

"But were you always there?" Youngjae backfired quickly. Looking at the ground coldly as the wind around them whistled loudly in their ears. 

"Huh?"

"Were you always there to protect, little poor and pathetic Youngjae?" The younger turned to face Mark. His eyes immediately finding Mark's. A blank stare, eyes masked with emotion. It was the all too familiar look that Youngjae held in his eyes, the cute sunshine boy with that beautiful smile that could make anyone's day better.. was just like him.

Hiding, behind a mask so he doesn't have to show anything to anyone. 

"I like you, hyung." Youngjae said after a few silent minutes of staring into a dark alleyway. Mark hesitated, opening his mouth but closing it just to open it and repeat the same action. Youngjae turned around to look at Mark once more. He let out a bitter laugh, turning back around and looking at the dark sky that expanded over the tall buildings. "I'm kidding." Mark's heart felt relief, but he couldn't help the heavy feeling on his heart. It almost hurt how honest the younger was when he was drunk. It scared Mark.

"Instead.. I'm in love with someone who betrayed me and beat me down as if it were nothing." He laughed, Mark could hear the hurt in his voice. "I wish I loved you.. You're so kind, and amazing.. and.. you're just  _you.._ You don't care about anything, or what anyone thinks. You're so brave Mark and I wish I were you. I wish I  _had_ you and the person you treasure one day will be the luckiest person in the world,"

"Youngjae.."

"I hope you cherish them." Youngjae said loudly, it echoed through the alleyway in front of them. "Give them the happy ending every mother read stories on and stay with them until the end." Mark could tell the younger had tears dripping down his cheeks. Mark walked to younger's side, not looking at him. Only grabbing his hand and leading him down the alley.

* * *

Mark took note of every time his phone went off, counting up to 12 notifications. Not bothering to pick up the phone when he dragged a drunk pity crying baby to his home. The all too familiar hero action annoying him  _and_ his shoulders.

He finally, got the boy to settle the hell down and put on his recordings of the barbie movie's he saved for when his niece visited him every once in a long while.  And just like that, the baby slept like a fucking baby. He sighed, looking at his bed in which the baby was curled into a ball but still managed to take up  _all_ the space of his king sized bed. 

Hearing more dings from his phone which was annoying as it is wasn't helping either. He made his way to the kitchen to make himself some stress coffee before sitting on the couch with a relieved moan leaving his lips. 

_It's been a long day.._

His phone went off again. The screen lighting up next to him and he groaned picking it up to see  _who_ the actual hell was texting him and almost fucking 4 in the morning.

  _7 new messages from: Unknwon Number_

_3 new notificstions from: Allkpopnews_

The list went on and on until he got tired of scrolling through and opened the messages from the unknown numberㅡwhich to his surprise, had a lot less formalities.

 

_Unknown Number > Mark_

_ㅡ 4:32 am_

_Hey.._

 

_Unknown Number > Mark_

_ㅡ 4:32 am_

_It's Jinyoung._

 

_Unknown Number > Mark_

_ㅡ 4:32 am_

_I wanted to say I'm sorry.._

 

_Unknown Number > Mark_

_ㅡ 4:32 am_

_About what happened at the club.._

 

_Unknown Number > Mark_

_ㅡ 4:33 am_

_I didn't know.._

 

_Unknown Number > Mark_

_ㅡ 4:34 am_

_About Youngjae I mean.._

 

_Unknown Number > Mark_

_ㅡ 4:36 am_

_Can we talk somewhere?_

 

That explains the informality, Mark thought. He sighed, closing his eyes. Mark stops for a moment to think, right now? Like right  _now_ now? He internally groaned and picked his phone up again.

 

_Mark > Jinyoungie _

_ㅡ 4:42_

  _Where do you want to meet?_

 

_Mark > Jinyoungie _

_ㅡ 4:42_

_Don't make it too far, if Youngjae wakes up hungover and I'm not there.._

_Jinyoungie > Mark_

_ㅡ 4:42 am_

  _Oh.. Youngjae's there?_

 

_Jinyoungie > Mark_

_ㅡ 4:43 am_

_I see.._

 

_Jinyoungie > Mark_

_ㅡ 4:43 am_

_Well.._ _You live near the student apartments correct?_

 

_Mark > Jinyoungie _

_ㅡ 4:45_

_Yes._

 

 _Jinyoungie_ _> Mark_

_ㅡ 4:45 am_

_Then meet me at the small park around the corner._

 

 _Jinyoungie_ _> Mark_

_ㅡ 4:45 am_

_It's the one out of the few with actual working street lamps._

 

Mark sighed out again. This time in exhaustion.. What if Jinyoung tries jumping him in the same way they did Jinyoung? 

What _then_?

 

_Mark > Jinyoungie _

_ㅡ 4:47_

_I'll be there._

 

* * *

 

 

Mark walked slowly through the night. The exhaustion really getting to his legs, feeling like they're about to give out at any moments. He probably looked like trash, disheveled hair from laying down and his thrown on yellow sweater hanging low. He enjoyed walking outside, especially in the cool weather they had at night. It was beautiful  _and_ refreshing. He really loved it a lot, the wind blowing perfectly. Giving him an amazing breeze. He closed his eyes as he rounded the familiar corner. He'd memorized his way to the park since the cherry blossom trees bloomed beautifully there and he loved going there during the springs and summers to look at the beautiful view. 

Mark opened his eyes as he approached the park. The street lamps working well enough to see Jinyoung's figure leaning against it, his arms fallen to his sides lazily. As he got closer he got more nervous, looking around to make sure Jaebum or the other guy wasn't hiding in the bushes or behind a slide or something. He took a deep breath, then released it. Taking slow steps closer to the younger who appeared to be in pain, or  _something_ was wrong. But he couldn't look away. 

The younger's sweaty form leaned against the street lamps, his beautiful milky and tinted pink cheeks. His prominent jawline which balanced with his chubby cheeks perfectly. Mark swallowed the forming lump in his throat.

His eyes were closed, his chest falling in a peaceful breathing pattern as if he were sleeping. He looks so beautiful.. and peaceful. But knowing how he was, and how he could be.. It was  _wrong_ to fall in love with him. 

No..

It felt like it should be wrong, someone with just a pretty face but a nasty attitude. 

It should be wrong to love him.

It should be wrong to look at him in the way Mark does after what Jinyoung has done.. 

But he couldn't help it. 

While he remembered standing there mesmerized by the younger's beauty, Mark realizes that he may have fallen for the biggest jerk on the planet. 

That being an understatement...

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO how was it?? ,,, tell me in the comments please!! (:
> 
> Next chapter soon.. AND I MEAN IT THIS TIME BC I'M ON A GOOD ROLL RN BYE TJAHICD 
> 
> Leave kudos and comments and ideas because my brain is currently a desert (:   
> ^^Writing your ideas will be VERY helpful even though some of them may not be useddd so please be aware!
> 
> Also if you want to talk to me directly about ideas I have a:  
>  twitter: @b_t_serna  
>  insta: (main is: @peachiicarina) but my fan is: @ohmyyoppa  
> also I have a tumblr at: @lulliby-kingdom where i just reblog everything SHINee i see :P
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT ON MY STORY AND I'M SO HAPPY THANK YOU :)))


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY HEY  
> it's short but I said I'd update didn't I? (;
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's still reading this.. I'll work hard for you guys from now on. 
> 
> As I mentioned before it's shorter than the chapter before but you'll see whyyyy (((:

Jinyoung's eyes remained closed. Thinking that he'd hear the man walking up because of the scattered gravel from the old playground. He'd been too invested in listening to the calming wind and old creaking swing sets to notice Mark's gaze on him, until he opened his eyes. His heart almost stopped, his stomach felt odd, he didn't like it. The older looked amazing, he couldn't deny. The way he stood at the edge of the light, just breaching the shadows. His clean form differing from his sweaty and messy one. Mark stood admiring him as if he were a painting that he could only lay eyes on once in his life before having to completely forget about it. Jinyoung stood up straight, taking slow steps towards the olderㅡhis eyes not moving from him once. But Jinyoung knew this look, far too familiarly. He had to ignore, Mark  _couldn't_ be his. He was  _Youngjae's._

Jinyoung took a few final steps before stopping just a few feet away from him. He sucked in a breath, his eyes moving to the older of the two's shoes. "I'm sorry." Was all that came from him. It sounded strangled to Mark. As if he hadn't spoken any words in days, forcing them out of his mouth.

"For what?" Mark asked, nonchalantly taking a few steps forward. This didn't go unnoticed by the younger, him feeling more uncomfortable.  _Why did he have to call the older out? Was it even a good idea?_ He swallowed his pride and took a few steps back, keeping the distance at a few feet like before. Mark stopped walking forward, noticing he was making the younger uncomfortable. They stood like that for a while, Jinyoung couldn't keep track of the silence he spent regretting on calling the older down to talk. He  _shouldn't_ have done it. Mark kicked a few pebbles, catching the younger's attention as he looked up from his shoes to meet he older's eyes which were wandering around the park. He pointed across the park to the other lit street lamp, underneath lying a small bench. 

"Want to sit?" He asked quietly, not waiting for a response before he started walking to the bench. Jinyoung following close behind. He sat down with a loud groan, feeling a lot more relaxed since he sat down. Jinyoung noted he seemed exhausted and felt even more horrible for asking him to come down to talk to him. Jinyoung sat down next to him, waiting for Mark to speak but then realizing that he was the one who called him down there. And he  _actually_ showed up, he felt a surge of confidence and cleared his throat.

"Sorry for calling you down. And I'm sorry about what happened and the club.." He spoke softly, Mark just listened noting that Jinyoung looked like he had more to say. "I didn't think.. I _wouldn't_ have thought that you two came together and I just.. I feel like a jerk andㅡ"

"Do you mean Youngjae?" Mark interupted. Jinyoung stopped, his confidence draining from his system as he met eyes with the older. His mouth feeling glued shut by the older's strong presence. He just nodded, trying to look away but Mark's voice brought him to meet eyes with the older again. "Youngjae and I..." Jinyoung prepared himself for it, watching Mark's eyes wander down as he thought of the words. "We aren't really a thing." Mark finally said. Jinyoung stayed quiet, and nodded.

"But he likes you." Jinyoung added trying to reason with the older, who  _he_ thought was lying.

"No.. It's not like that." Mark scratched his head. "I think.. that I  _do_ like someone else."

"So... Then you _do_  like him?" Jinyoung sounded disappointed, that didn't go unnoticed ny Mark either. Mark let out a frustrated sigh and scooted closer to the younger. In which the younger scooted closer to the arm of the bench, feeling uncomfortable. 

"I said I liked someone  _else._ " Mark said, but Jinyoung still seemed uncomfortable.

"Then.." Jinyoung sighed, scratching his head and thinking about his next words. He couldn't because he just  _couldn't_ understand what the older was getting to. "I don't understand.." Jinyoung concluded. "I don't.. really want to know either." Jinyoung stood up, his head in his hands and he let out a long exasperated breath. He was tired, and not only because it was like 5 in the morning and all he was running now was the little bit of alcohol that was left from the night before..  _and_ no sleep. He felt cold when the breeze hit him. He wanted to go home. He shouldn't have called Mark out here to talk if he  _didn't_ want to hear the words that were most likely going to fall from the older's lips. 

"If you don't want to hear it," He heard Mark stand, but didn't bother looking back. "Then why did you call me out here?" Mark was approaching it. He heard the gravel crunch after every step, making him anxious. He  _needed_ to leave. 

"Iㅡ I don't know.." Jinyoung stuttered. The older's footsteps coming closer, every crunch echoing through the abandoned park. "IㅡI'm leaving now. It doesn't matter." Jinyoung said, readying himself to take off. Leaving the elder.. but Mark but his hand gently on Jinyoung's arm. Stopping him from even moving. Jinyoung's heart hurt, and he didn't know why.. Mark hasn't even said anything yet, let alone  _nothing_ the older could say would  _actually_  hurt him.. Right?

"Don't leave.." Mark said softly, his grip on Jinyoung's arm was weak as if he were giving Jinyoung the choice whether to stay or go. Jinyoung hesitated, I mean, what would you have done? He was afraid, and he was hurt, he was happy, and then.. there's this  _odd_ feeling he couldn't recognize. It made him want to crawl out of his skin and drove him crazy with thinking about it. His heart raced when it didn't need to, his hands got sweaty, he felt jittery and nervous all the time. He hated it, and wished it way. Sometimes he felt like crying and he didn't understand  _why_ he of ALL people would want to cry for no reason. His stomach flutters every time something happens and it annoys him. He'd have weird dreams and take care of himself the next morning without thinking anything about it..  _No._ He'd think long and hard about the dream until he was annoyed to the point where he looked up ways to  _not_ dream. It was all because of the stupid older man. His hyung, it was all because of Mark. It was  _all_ because of Mark.

 _It was all because of Mark._ He thought, repeating the words in his head.  _Because I love him._

It scared him really. The word  _love._ Which meant absolutely nothing to him with the way people use it. Throwing it around like it's some toy, throwing people's  _feelings_ around like they're some toy. He was afraid of being heartbroken, but at the same time he asked himself  _'what is heartbreak?'_ He hates it, the whole idea of love that couldn't possibly exist in a world where everything  _lives_ and  _dies_ at some point and that means that the feelings he has for Mark will die right?  _Right?_

Jinyoung let out a shaky breath. He turned around, his eyes focused on the hand placed gently on his forearm. He closed his eyes, taking in the warmth from the older's body. His eyes hurt, he physically hurt. He wanted to leave, and let  _everything_ with Mark die. Because the first time they met was when Jinyoung and his two friends almost beat his  _best friend_ to death in an alleyway. His best friend who he loves and cherishes and it will always be like that. Jinyoung felt warm tears run down his cheeks, he wiped them away quickly and pulled his arm from Mark's grip and ran. He ran and ran and couldn't stop because he didn't even know where he was going. He was afraid and he couldn't think of anything so he just  _ran._

He ran until he fell on the cold hard sidewalk. Worried screams around him from the people who woke early for coffee or on their way to their jobs, or even students walking to school. He couldn't bring himself to care enough even after he felt a pair of arms around him. Bringing him from the ground to his feet, and just standing there. Letting him cry on his shoulder. The familiar scent filling his nose, sweat mixed with the cologne of one of his favorite people in the world.

_Mark._

He couldn't think of anything else, he just grasped the older's sweater and cried and cried, not caring who stopped to ask him if he was okay, or who gave him nasty stares for crying on another boy's shoulder. All he could do was cry, all he could do was stay in Mark's arms. Because no matter where he is. He  _always_ finds the older somewhere.

"I'm sorry." He cried, the words barely registering in Mark's ears before he held the younger tighter in his arms. "I'm sorry that I beat your best friend and that I almost killed you, I'm sorry about forcing you to buy me a new phone. I'm sorry you stormed off and almost got killed because of me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... Iㅡ Iㅡ I don't like this feeling. I hate it! It hurts Mark, it physically _hurts._ I just.." Jinyoung stopped to take a breath, his hiccups stopping him in his speech. "I hate it, I hate that I feel this way. It's  _gross._ I hate it!" He yelled, even if his actions were different than his words and he pushed his face closer to the older's chest.

Mark shushed him, running his fingers through the younger's hair as he cried. People passing by just ignored it after realizing he was _actually_ not in any danger. But Mark let him continue.. even if it did hurt him to hear the words fall from the younger's mouth.  "I hate.. hurting you. I just.. I'm sorry." Jinyoung said, trying to push away from Mark. He needed to get away,  _now._ He tried but the older just pulled him closer. Trying to prevent him from leaving. Jinyoung gave up. Stopping, the tears stopped, and the hiccups were all that remained alongside the sniffles. "I'm sorry." He apologized again, his arms gradually wrapping themselves around the older's frame. Mark just shushed him and held him closer in the cold weather. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading (:  
> Please leave kudos and comments it helps me feel motivated!
> 
> I'm writing my next chapter already so be ready!! (((:


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short and I REALLY apologize for being SO VERY EXTRA late with this chapter like I kNOW GUYS sUE ME 
> 
> SIGH okay so I'll tryㅡ I'M NOT MAKING PROMISESㅡ but I will T R Y to continue updating regularly, I just have so much shit on my plate right now and I'm not hungry so am not ready to finish it. 
> 
> ANYWAYS I'm thinking about an ending to this and I'm not sure how shit will go down or if the smut chapter that I'm currently writing will go to hell but you know, we'll see.
> 
> OKAY so one more apology because I know you guys have probably forgotten about this bc I haven't updated in 40 years.

Mark couldn’t think of what to do. He stood there in the moment, all happiness abandoning him. Mark took comfort in supporting the younger when he was hurt or upset, but never thought of himself. He  _ couldn’t _ think of himself, not when Jinyoung needed him. 

 

After the events from that morning, Mark took Jinyoung home and made him something to eat before the other dragged himself into the elders bed, making himself comfortable by wrapping the blankets around himself. 

 

Mark remained in the kitchen, picking at his now cold porridge accompanied by bitter fragrance that Jinyoung left behind. He slammed his chopsticks on the table, throwing his head in his hands in anger. 

 

_ Why? _ Mark almost screamed.  _ Why do I have to be here? Like this? Just.. Why?  _

 

He let out a soft groan, lifting his head away from the cold bowl in front of him, which he picked up and put in the sink. Not bothering to wash it. He held his hands over the sink’s edge, staring holes into the half-rinsed dishes from two nights ago. 

 

_ What do I do? _

 

He sighed heavily. Lifting his head too fast, feeling slightly dizzy from it.  

 

“What do I do?” He whispered to himself, his eyes remained on the dim stove light that hung slightly above his head. He saw the shadows of the bugs who used to fly in there when he left it on at night. 

 

“What  _ can _ you do?” He heard Jinyoung’s soft voice behind him. At first Mark thought he was hearing things, turning to see Jinyoung standing with disheveled hair and his favorite gray blanket wrapped around his thin frame. Mark lips perked up into a sad smile. He stayed quiet as the grin faded slowly. “Can you cook?” Jinyoung asked sitting on the small bench that had cold porridge on the dark oak wood table. Jinyoung must’ve spilled it.

 

“I just cooked didn’t I?” Mark asked lazily. 

 

“Porridge?” Jinyoung looked up from the table. He chuckled lightly, “That’s an easy microwave job. That’s not cooking.” Jinyoung’s voice got louder as he let the blanket drop to his lap and his arms stretched above his head. Mark heard a series of faint cracks and a moan leave Jinyoung’s mouth as he let his arms fall to his lap to pick up the heavy blanket. 

 

“I love this blanket, it’s so warm.” He smiled as he pulled it up to his cheeks squishing them as he half-smiled at Mark. Mark turned around, smiling to himself whilst trying to hide the dumb grin from the other. He tried distracting himself turning the small knob on the oven and putting a clean pan from the strainer beside him on the burner. 

 

“What kind of eggs do you liㅡ  _ Oof, ”  _ Jinyoung’s long arms wrapped themselves around Mark’s torso, laying his head gently against the elder’s back. Mark’s heart picked up as the younger hugged him tighter. 

 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered into Mark’s thin shirt, his muffled voice taking a minute to register in Mark’s head. “I didn’t mean what I said.” He continued. Mark felt the youngers long eyelashes flutter closed lightly against his thin t-shirt. “I  _ know _ it hurt you, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it.” 

 

“You don’t have to apologize.” Mark whispered, closing his eyes before he could feel the tears rise.

 

“I do.” Mark heard Jinyoung sniffle from behind him, and felt the sudden urge to turn around and comfort him.  “I’m so sorry Mark. I like you, I like you  _ so _ much. You have  _ no _ idea.” Mark could feel the wetness from the others tears through his thin blue shirt. He smiled to himself, not sure if it was because he heard the words he thought would make him happy, or because he was afraid. He felt the tears falling down his own cheeks. He couldn’t stop them, even by closing his eyes. 

 

_ Why was he even crying?  _

 

_ It’s so stupid. _

 

“So.. then what are we supposed to do?” Mark’s voice was soft and clear even through the tears, yet Jinyoung could hear the hurt in it. “Just hold hands and walk down the street? Go on cute dates and out to karaoke after school days like high schoolers? Are we just supposed to stop like everything that’s happened between us never had?” His words were meant to be harsh, but they didn’t come out that way. His weak voice void of any anger. Jinyoung let out an unexpected chuckle. Mark only let out a hollow laugh, the younger’s arms moving around his waist. Mark moved to push the younger’s arms away but they were wrapped too tight around Mark to be able to pry them off. 

 

“We don’t have to hold hands when we walk down the streets. We don’t have to go on cute dates or out to karaoke,” Jinyoung paused, lifting his head to rest on Mark’s shoulder. “But I do want to try this.  _ Us. _ ” Mark released a shaky breath. 

“Are you sure?” Mark asked. “You know how things are. People will stare, and judge and ㅡ”

 

“Hyung.” Jinyoung stopped him, releasing the elder from his arms. “Trust me.. Can you do that?” Mark gave him a questionable look, before nodding. He felt nervous, he knew how Jinyoung could be. Mark cleared his throat.

 

“Things still happened.” He started, “We can’t ignore them.” Jinyoung nodded. 

 

“I know. We won’t.” Jinyoung stated. 

 

“We shouldn’t.” Mark turned around, his eyes told Jinyoung that he was lying, they gave the younger hope that maybe just  _ maybe _ Mark would give in. They took a good minute looking deep into each other’s eyes,  _ reading _ each other. Jinyoung swallowed his pride, feeling heartbroken but hopeful.

 

“Okay.” Was all he said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR ACTUALLY READING THIS AND IT'S SHORT BUT I'M (PLANNING) ON UPDATING AGAIN SOON BUT I SAY THAT EVERY TIME SO DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH HOPE.


End file.
